So this is waaaaaaaaaay late. And there’s a very valid reason why. Our dog ate Boxy’s submission. I mean, our computer crashed and it deleted everything. Actually, there was a power outage and we lost internet service for the last 18 hours. In reality, right now it’s Thursday afternoon and you all are just very confused. Honestly, Stamos blacked the fuck out last night and is just getting to work and somehow he’s the only one who can post the Hot Box this week because he’s so technically savvy like that. Whatever. Go fuck yourselves. Here’s that Hot Box.
Care To Get Nice?
I am going to do something a little different for just one week because it is a special week for Boxy. I recently started a new day job. You didn’t think I just followed celebs around all the time did you? Anywho, here is the deal…being a member of office life is the most interesting thing you will ever do if you participate correctly. First let’s discuss the people that make up your average American office.
Mr. Manager – Senor Johnny Standard. Pretty whatever kind of guy. Don’t talk to him very much but for some reason when you do you literally cannot think of anything to say and end up stuttering some comment that makes you look like Baby on Dirty Dancing the first time she meets Johnny.
The lady that LOVES her job and everyone in the company. You know her – she’s a little corky and little crazy. Candy dish filled to the brim at her desk. Somehow she remembers everyone’s birthday. She loves her cats and refers to them as “us”. A real go getter.
The hot guy/gal of the office. We all know they are not really that hot but for the office you extend your normal standards. If you saw them on the street they would be borderline at best.
Quiet Talker Girl – Usually from a real small town 45 minutes outside of the city you work in. Used to be real hot and petite, still not big but definitely gained some weight since the senior prom, and got her GED from the community college nearby. She is smart as whip but very comfortable doing the same job she has been doing for the last 9 years. 
She is married to the same guy she dated all throughout high school – he is 6’4 and she is 5’1 (you should have seen the wedding pictures they were adorable). Her cube has about 23 pictures of her family and #3 is on the way and they are going to call him Steve Jr – finally a boy!
Mr. I am 47 but still really brahsome. The guy that “has smoked more weed” than any of the young employees have ever seen, has the ole story about drinking 5 cases of beer at a football game and talks in the voice of Timmy on South Park character when walking up to your desk so you are forced to give the most awkward courtesy laugh ever. Painful. There have been situations here I have actually gotten hives it got so weird.
The #1 rule that kills me in the office environment is the situation that goes down in the ladies room. You could be in there and hear someone blow the roof off of the ceiling but when they walk out of that stall you better be composed. She will give you the “I know you know I just logged the biggest queef of my life” but all you can do is give a half “awww” smile and continue to dry your hands.
Last I want to touch on the #1 office perk…PIZZA IN THE BREAKROOM! Why you ask? Because they need you to stay 4 extra hours to count inventory. Great idea guys – over half of the employees here are 3 times the size they should be. Thanks boss man – I cannot stop to pick up pizza for my family because you don’t pay me shit but at least I got to scarf down that one last cold piece of half wet, soggy sausage before I logged 4 hours of unpaid overtime.
Please don’t fret readers. Soon I will discuss what goes down at the one time a year there is an office party with alcohol which will lead us into an in-depth description of a moral hangover.
