Anniversary of the death of The King….

Today is the 30th anniversary of the death of one of the world’s most beloved rock stars. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who had more of an impact on the American music scene than Elvis Presley. The King had sex appeal before the public even knew what sex appeal was. Before we had Modonna’s spiked boobies, Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch, or any one of the thousands of MTV videos (back when MTV showed videos) with artists and models dancing around in their undies or actually having sex (check out Marilyn Manson’s “Heart-Shaped Glasses” video), The King was making waves by shaking his hips on TV and making the teenaged girls scream so loud no one could hear the music. From his performance on The Milton Berle Show in January of ‘56 a star was born that would change the face of music forever.

Care To Get Nice, baby? (that was in my Elvis voice)

His 1956 preformance on The Milton Berle show was one that would shoot him into stardom as press from around the world commented on his gyrations and called him ‘vulgar’ and ‘obsene.’ Obscene? Can you imagine if these people had to suffer through a Paris Hilton performance? That, my friends, is obsene. I digress.

It was tough to categorize The King early on, as many white DJs didn’t want to play what they considered to be “negroe’s music” and the black people in the south weren’t real quick to jump on music made by a white man. Obviously this didn’t last long, as The King left Sun Records and signed a deal with RCA in 1956 for a then earth shattering $35,000. His first single with RCA, “Heart Break Hotel” was released in January and by April had reached number one on the charts, selling over 1 million copies.

Further enduring himself in the heart of Americans, Elvis received a draft notice in 1957 and joined the Army. An event so large that even his induction (postponed until 1958 so he could finish filming a movie) was televised. Rather than applying for special service that would allow him to serve as a celebrity and spend his time performing for the troops, Elvis joined up as if he were Johnny Everyman and was shipped of to Germany.

It was during this time that The King began his famous love affair with pills. According to one source, “a sergeant had introduced him to amphetamines when they were on maneuvers at Grafenwöhr… it seemed like half the guys in the company were taking them.” Heavy artillery and amphetamines, what could go wrong?

As the years went on and his popularity grew, Elvis went from a shy, soft-spoken son of a sharecropper to a sex symbol and American icon. He made over 33 films and released dozens of top selling albums. He was romantically linked to such sexy ladies as Ann-Margaret, Lori Williams, Cybel Shepard, even reportedly had a one night stand with Marilyn Monroe (hubba hubba). Of course, there are just as many reports that will tell you that The King didn’t actually sleep with most of the women he dated and many sources close to him say he dated them only for the publicity. A few Hollywood starlets whom he dated described him as almost impotent. Whatever. I don’t care what those hussies say, I prefer to remember the King as the ultimate cocksmith.

As pretty much everyone knows the later years of Elvis’ life weren’t quite as sexy as the beginning. Like those clips of him performing karate. Ouch. His belly puts mine to shame. He put on a lot of weight, ate a lot of pills, forgot the words to songs while preforming live and wore those awful white jump suits with the sequins. You had to be on drugs to think those looked good.

In Alexandria, Louisiana in 1977 he was on stage for less than an hour and one journalist complained he was impossible to understand. The following Baton Rouge show was cancelled because he was unable to get out of bed. Those around him, known as the Memphis Mafia (awesome name for your posse) told stories of The King not leaving his room for days, sitting there reading books on spirituality or “recounting things like his favourite Monty Python sketches” (really?!).

On August 16, 1977 Elvis was found dead by his fiance, Ginger Alden, on the floor of their bathroom. Autopsy reports showed 14 different drugs in his system. Elvis’ doctor came under scrutiny when it was found that “in the first eight months of 1977 alone, he had written 199 prescriptions totalling more than 10,000 doses of sedatives, amphetamines and narcotics,” to Elvis. Incredible.

Regardless of the eventual decline, The King will be forever remembered as one of the most important musical figues in American history, giving careers to thousands of overweight white dudes who choose to spend their lives wearing those nasty white jumpsuits and crooning little old ladies with blue hair in smokey Las Vegas lounges.

Thank ya, very much…(that was in my Elvis voice, too)