Morning Wood is a daily take on some relevant pop culture topic. It will [usually] run at 10 a.m. and is designed to help you procrastinate that morning work load. Sometimes it will be long, sometimes it will be short. It will usually have boobs, links and links to boobs. You can bookmark it separately, or you could just be nice and visit like 50 times each day. Feel free to email uswith your questions, comments and suggestions for topics or Friday guest posters.
Good morning and happy Thursday.
I saw this article yesterday on Yahoo! and thought I would share it with you. It’s about Michael Psenicska.
Mr. Psenicska, who is in desperate need of a few more vowels in his last name, is a high school math teacher and was the drivers ed instructor in Borat, a film with which I’m sure all of our readers are familiar.
It seems this slapdick has brought a lawsuit against Sasha Baren Cohen and Twentieth Century Fox Films Corp (the film’s producer) for $100,000 in punitive damages, claiming he was told by the crew that they were filming a “documentary about the integration of immigrants into U.S. life.”
It seems Mr. Pseniskawkzijgb agreed to do the film because he often teaches immigrants how to drive and these funny talking foreigners hold a special place in his heart. . . and being lied to hurt the little guy’s feelings so we wants the producers to fork over some coin to compensate.
Dude. Brah. Come on.
Let me tell you why I have a problem with this.
First of all, YOU’RE A FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL MATH TEACHER AND DRIVERS ED INSTRUCTOR. Being used and lied to by Cohen and Twentieth Century Fox is probably the best thing that could have happened to you. They handed you your 15 minutes on a gold platter. For that brief time you were on the screen, you were not the asshole who graded algebra exams too hard. You weren’t the jerk who stood between little 16 year old Johnny and his back seat make-out sessions with Suzy, who has really matured over the last few months and feels like letting Johnny make her a woman. You’re a cool teacher who got to be in a movie. You back doored your way into ‘coolness’ and what do you do? You sue them?! Weak game, professor. Weak game.
Next off. This movie came out over a year ago. The douche bag frat boys who advocated reinstating slavery and the Southern conservative idiots have already filed their suits. Where the fuck have you been? Have you really been so busy riding shotgun in a little white Honda going 45 mph in the right lane with a white knuckled teenager behind the wheel that you just now noticed, a year later, that your feelings were hurt? Pull your shit together, son. If it had really bothered you so much, you would have felt it a long time ago.
Finally, given your profession, we know you’re not rolling to school in a 7 series BMW or giving parallel parking lessons in Maserati, so why, in the name of allah, would you only ask for $100,000.00? That truly makes zero sense to me. Go big or go home. You’re suing an international movie star and a major motion picture company, so why not swing for the proverbial fences? If the jury thinks you went too big, they’ll knock it down a notch. If you end up settling out of court, you want your first offer to be a little too big. Haven’t you ever negotiated before? You’re a goddamn math teacher.
Honestly, professor, I think you blew it on this one.
Mucho take it easy.
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Go big or go home indeed.