Our infatuation with Saved By the Bell is well documented. Oh wait. We don’t have any links to back that up. But that’s because we’re lazy. Which is also the reason that we try to invite guest posters on for Fridays. (If you are interested in ranting for Brahsome, email us at blog@brahsome.com.) And it being Friday, we’d like to welcome on the man who runs the hottest blog on these here internets, ITB. Share in AC Slater’s eulogy and welcome William Needham Finley IV after the jump.
Everyone calm down. Our second favorite Bayside High Schooler is not really dead, but he may as well be. I was channel surfing last night and stopped immediately when AC Slater appeared on the screen before me, staring into the camera, holding a microphone. Was he bringing the gang and Mr. Belding back to Bayside for a reunion? Was he hosting a marathon of SBTB? Was the episode where Jesse overdoses on caffeine pills about to air? Unfortunately, none of the above was true.
He began to speak in a language that I didn’t understand. AC definitely wasn’t speaking Spanish, his native tongue, because I could clearly hear English words and I wasn’t watching channel eight. I heard the following: “That ripple was tight, you guys nailed the diagonals, and your isos were off the hook. Now let’s flip it to Automatic Response to battle it out in the master mix challenge, now they have to show the judges that they land their moves every time”.
As I was trying to make sense of this strange dialect, the cameras suddenly cut to a group of oddly dressed people who moved around a stage while some shitty song played in the background. I quickly found out that this was a show titled “Randy Jackson presents America’s Best Dance Crew”. AC Slater was the host of this show and those other people were part of a dance “crew”. I could only endure approximately 3 minutes of this show, but 3 minutes was all it took for me to know……..that AC Slater was dead to me.
As I watched, I immediately remembered that AC was once married (for two weeks) to this woman, Ali Landry. I cannot go on to describe her because of an existing restraining order, but the picture to the left should suffice.
For those of you who don’t know why they only lasted two weeks, and are thinking to yourselves, “Two weeks, what happened? Did she die in some horrific accident, leaving AC mentally unstable, causing him to think that hosting a show about dance ‘crews’ was a good career move?” I truly wish that was what happened. In reality, Ali Landry annulled the marriage because AC cheated on her, a few times, really close to, or possibly, on their wedding day. After the annulment, AC went on to host random television shows and most recently appeared on Dancing With The Stars. I thought he had already hit rock bottom, but I was so wrong. AC Slater went from Ali Landry, to this…
This is Break Sk8. They are a dance “crew”. How can AC go from doing things to Ali Landry I can’t describe because of said existing restraining order to hosting these ass clowns as they jump around on stage while some shitty song you hear at Nelson’s plays in the background? His decision to host this show is even worse than his decision to play the role of Greg Louganis in Breaking the Surface: The Greg Louganis Story.
I have too many questions and not enough time to waste figuring out what’s wrong with AC or what’s going on in the picture above. I understand the reasoning behind shows such as American Idol, America’s Next Top Model, and even Making the Band. Aside from dominating the ratings and single-handedly ruining television, American Idol has a clear winner who goes on to release an album. Sometimes the runner up is also successful, look at Raleigh’s own Gay Aiken. Making the Band follows the same format, but the difference is no one watches this show. The winner of America’s Next Top Model gets a modeling contract with whoever gives out modeling contracts. I’m confused as to what a dance “crew” does when they out-dance the other “crews” and become America’s Best. Are there dance concerts? If I think about this any longer I’ll have to kill myself. Once again, AC Slater is not actually dead, but AC, you’re dead to me.
Goooo Bayside.
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Well played, Billy. Shockingly, I saw about 3 minutes of this show as well. B-boys make some noooooooise!!!
Was there a hotter late 90s rumor than Zach Morris was dead?
Albert Clifford….You just got served!
I just noticed these bros are on rollerskates. WTF is that? I thought they stopped making roller skates when Slater’s stonewashed-elastic jeans…well I would say went out of style, but I can’t say there were really ever in style.
I am disappointed in Randy Jackson..he is actually a solid bass player.