It’s commonly known among the blogosphere — and anyone who hates the sound of “BooYa!” and
“Nate…The Great! McLouth” among other ridiculous sayings — that ESPN is played out. And what some might call “ripe”.
They like to grab hold of popular segments of culture and slowly destroy them, infiltrating hip notions within society in a cumbersome, “we-don’t-get-it” kind of way. You may have seen their phone. It sucked. And now, they are infiltrating your pile.
That’s right. The ESPN remote is here. Or has been here. We’re slow. And as is typical of ESPN, it appears to be a good idea executed poorly. A remote with the internet? Um, yes please. I guess. I like to flip my remotes while I’m watching TV so the idea doesn’t excite me greatly.
Oh yeah, and it’s 300 m*therf*cking dollars.
In terms of practicability, the screen doesn’t really appear big enough to actually be worth using the internet on, if you want anything more than scores. And if you don’t want anything more than scores, can’t you just get them off the bottom line (I will concede the fact that this feature is handy if you’re forced into watching Grey’s or Idol or something by your ladyfriend) or your cell phone that’s handy?
Oh wait. What’s that? The ESPN remote serves as a cell phone too? Well, newsflash, Jack. I don’t want my phone anywhere near my GD pile. And that pile, sir, is steered by my television remote. In other words, when I’m laid out on a Sunday, I don’t want people calling me up on the one thing that is purporting to shield me from the rest of society. Or what if I’m trying to swap moving pictures and I eff up and call my parents? Dee-saster.
And I mentioned it’s 300 bucks right? Because that’s slightly — just barely — more than I want to pay for my GD remote control. You know, which usually comes free with the television and/or cable box.
The other thing I’ve noticed, as I look at the picture, is that the setup of the buttons on this thing is just f’ing putrid. They were sooooooo concerned about having a phone on it, that they completely shit the bed on setting up the remote control buttons. Obviously I have never seen this remote in person, but when there is a “DVR” button involved — meaning everytime I want to pause live TV I have to hit that or it constantly has to be plugged in that mode — we have issues. Those fast forward/rewind controls are tucked above a slew of other buttons when in reality they should be prominent and they should be always active. So, if I’m right on that, it’s inexcusable.
As for the screen and TV Listings function, well what the fuck do you think the “GUIDE” on digital cable is for. And don’t give me some analog bullshit because we’re either all switching over sooner or later, or anyone that can shell out $300 (did I mention that’s how much it costs) for a remote certainly already has a cable or satty setup that includes a guide.
There are other things I could rant on here I’m sure — the fact that it uses Microsoft as an operating system is clearly a cluster-f t-pile waiting to happen — but I’m done. It’s an expensive remote that is ultimately going to fail just like the phone. But it just cheeses me off when the WWL thinks it can stick it’s nosy face in my pile and act like it’s hip/relevant anymore.
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You are so effing stupid… there is no phone on this remote and alot of people rent or buy their remotes from the cable company.