Our buddy BDog is back with another guest column. If you read our humble little blahg you know I loathe all things Okie. Well not all things Okie. I know one girl from Tulsa who is cool. That’s about it though. Anyway, BDog dug up this incredible story about a pair of sophisticates from that god-forsaken territory. It’s absolutely disgusting. It’s so strange it took us longer to figure out a title than it did write the story. How do you sum this story up? Anyway … enjoy.
Did you ever think that maybe your mom cared more about her dogs than she did for you?
Okie brah Bryan Whaley was faced with that reality when, while dogsitting for his mom, he stumbled across 190 CD Roms and DVDs, 67 VHS tapes, 12 cassette tapes (??? woof???), two floppy disks, two flash drives, and one photo album. All of this media apparently showed Brian’s mom getting nice with her three dogs. They say once you go black (lab), you never go back. That’s right, Ms. Whalen was eff-ing her dogs, and young Bryan was unfortunate enough to stumble across the evidence. To be honest, my first thought was “dear god, I hope those tapes were clearly marked as to what was on them and he didn’t have to watch them”. I was thinking something along the lines of (6-21-08, Scene: your mom gets plowed by blue heeler; Soundtrack: new coldplay album). I mean that would at least save him the horror of having to view that ish. There are some things you can’t unsee.
When faced with the evidence of what his mother had done, he did what any animal loving brah would do and called the cops. Now I’m not going to debate the merits of ratting out your mom for what could essentially be a victimless crime (I’m assuming the dogs were the ones doing the effing and not the ones getting effed, more on that later). Let’s just say I’m glad he did it, if only for my own personal enjoyment of seeing Oklahoma humiliated in any way. What’s even more vile about this story is that apparently there is a market for this type of pr0n, as the cops found evidence that she was at least attempting to sell the tapes over the internet. I mean, I’m a dirty, filthy brah who you really don’t want talking to your sister, but some things are just over the line.
Now if I could direct your attention to the other article on the page, the one on the right which discusses what will happen to the dogs. Apparently the Tulsa County Sheriff’s office and the Humane Society are in a tussle over whether or not to euthanize the dogs. The humane society rep argues for rehabilitation, and gives an example of a dog involved in a bestiality case that was “emotionally shattered”, due to the “anti-nature” nature of the incident. To me that sounds like a dog that got effed, which is awful. However, the Sheriff seems to think that these dogs might not be able to be saved because they are “sexually aggressive”. Translation, these dogs have gotten a taste of female human, and now we can’t exactly let them loose in the park anymore.
Finally, I would like to direct you to the ad in the middle of the page, which you undoubtedly overlooked like I did the first time I read this article. Something tells me Bryan won’t be catching that sickgnar show on the 25th.
-BDog
