[In our best Kevin Nealon subliminal message reporter guy voice] Sometimes, you really gotta give a hand to people who give a little extra to make their own (wet) dreams come true. There’s something satisfying about seeing your fellow man go the extra mile (to the other porn store) to really get when he deserves. Because we all know life can be (long and) hard sometimes, and it takes a real man to push (or pull) through. And the fruit of ones labor once that goal is achieved could only be described as e(jacu)lation. And one guy who deserves a hand (as his other one is pretty tired) is this guy in Longmont, Colorado.
You see, this fine gentlemen raised the bar (you prefer he cranked it up a few notches?) for all of us when he entered his local prOn shop in the guise of the local porn inspector. Yup, porn inspector. He said he was a detective investigating whether the performers were old enough to be in the videos, and was part of the Longmont police force’s ‘age verification unit.’ Sounds reasonable enough, right? Maybe next time the lady friend or wife catches you backpeddling yourself, you can try out the old ‘oh honey- I took a job moonlighting as a porn inspector, and I have to review these videos for potential underage performers. I’ll be to bed shortly.’ Or you could just go with the usual ‘yeah, honey. I’m rubbing. Good night.’ Either way…
