Straight Cash, Homey

When Stamos isn’t coming up with new and creative ways to snark up this old website, he works in the arena of personal finance. As such, it’s not uncommon to hear him describe hope as a financial strategy, though not a sound one. Like how some people keep buying lottery tickets without ever winning anything banking on that $1MM jackpot to save their retirement when it would have been a much better strategy to just invest that $10 a week and you could have saved that million on your own, you stupid motherfu– we digress. And in the end, maybe there’s something to this lottery after all…

Verlyn and Judith Adamson might have just figured the whole thing out. Last week, they bought 4 lottery tickets at 4 different locations with the same numbers on them, and cleaned up to the total of $1.4 million. Verlyn, an accountant, had bragged to friends earlier that he’d developed a formula for winning lottery numbers. And see here’s where evolution really takes us- for the longest time, it was OTSS- only the strong survive. But now, we’ve gotten to the point where smarts can make you rich. And rich can get you laid. And laid makes babies, so your seed carries on. Basically, Verlyn Adamson just discovered a mathematical formula to guarentee himself hot box for life. Mathletes around the world rejoice at the prospect of not entering their twenties without having known the pleasures of sexy time. And here’s a formula for those folks to remember: sex minus condom equals great!

Tagged as: Angelina Jolie, lottery