I can’t really justify telling Paris Hilton to stop drinking and driving. I mean, she should stay away from the asphalt, but, hey, whatever. However, I can totally feel fine with myself saying that she should be forced to give up all her dogs. Yes, that’s right. You may recall said dogs from the awesome South Park episode where they keep killing themselves.
Well, turns out they’re not all suicidal. Some just get murdered.
While Paris Hilton usually doesn’t get much sympathy from us, we’ve found that a coyote killed two of her dogs last night. A source tells X17 that Paris is “devastated” and has been crying non-stop. We’re shocked and sending our love to Paris — even though we’re wondering why the dogs were left outside all night.
Excuse me for not feeling as bad for Paris as Popeater; after all these animals do live in freaking Hollywood. And apparently she has 17 of them. SEVENTEEN DOGS. Why on Earth would you own 17 dogs in Hollywood if you can’t keep them from getting eaten by coyotes? In Hollywood.
