Despite an economic situation that has most of us settling for Busch Light and middies, NYC hewers are still cleaning up (their faces after the standy bukkake).
The market is down, business is down, but we feel it less,” said Dylan, 24, a promotional model-turned-Manhattan prostitute. “We’re still busy.” The long-haired, long-legged hooker then explained why the red-light district remains a blue-chip commodity: “If men are horny, they’re going to come in here.”**
This got us thinking: what are the best jobs to have when the economy is falling apart?
**Unknown whether ‘in here’ referred to the Red Light District, or the ragged out receptacle Dylan knows as her vagina.
While sex-workers gets paids regardless of how strapped for cash America’s businessmen are, who else continues to rake?
1. Makers of Crystal Meth. Let’s face it- the people who use crystal meth didn’t have money to begin with, and don’t really know what the stock market is, so they’re still game.
2. Purveyors of All You Can Eat Buffets. If you were eating at AYCEs before the downturn, you still are now. And if you weren’t, and want to try to stuff dat face for less, you’re thinking about making your way to China House Buffet 3 for lunch right now. Don’t lie.
3. Cigarette Makers. Yeah, the country is slowly but surely trying to weed us out by making it harder and harder to find a place to legally burn one. But these days, Wall St. traders are going through cartons a day each, and that means Phil Morris is making dough.
4. Muggers. With people fearing their bank may be the next to fail, they’re probably walking around cash heavy. Enter the large man in the dark alley.
5. Pimps. Well, if whores are making money, someone’s gotta be making money off those whores, right? Pimpin might not be easy, but in a down market, it remains a cash cow.
