It’s State vs. UNC week, so you know we are fired up here at Brahsome. We brought you the story last year of three UNC football players who were kidnapped, robbed, and assualted by two women and a naked man. Well, said naked man went to trial this week on charges of first-degree kidnapping, robbery with a dangerous weapon, and conspiracy to kidnap, rob and sexually batter. The fateful night began as a 21st birthday celebration for UNC’s current starting center Lowell Dyer and ended with three football players, who all approach 300 pounds, getting tied up and fondled. The players got separated throughout the night, with two of them meeting their eventual attackers and getting a ride home from them. Two other players went to get their grub on after the bar, with one testifying,”The size that we are, we have certain eating habits, it was feeding time.” I guess it’s better to feed on fatty food latenight, than to feed on the fatty pictured above like his other boys. Dyer and an unnamed player caught a cab back home post grub, with dyer passing out in his clothes on his bed upon arrival. I’m really starting to feel better about this game on Saturday. UNC’s starting center is a complete lightweight pussy and the rest of his boys get molested by women. The unnamed player testified how he walked down the hall of the apartment and found the defendant naked, with a pairing knife.
He further testified that he did not feel threatened by the defendant, stating that he is a “happy-go-lucky” guy who gives “everybody a chance.” So let me get this straight, this dood gives naked strange men that are just chilling in his house a chance? Wow. I just bet my entire life savings on the game this weekend. After his arrival on the scene, big momma took his shirt off, pushed him on the bed, tied him up with his belt and blindfolded him with a tie. I realize he is a huge pussy and the woman was about his size, but nobody’s buying he wasn’t okay with everything that was going on up to this point. No testimony about a struggle, he just let her take his clothes off and tie him up. The woman proceeded to fondle him and the defendant held a knife to his throat when he protested. The police were eventually called and these boys’ pride was shot down forever. See you boys on Saturday.
