It’s a fine line trying to use radical Islam and terrorism for the basis of a (hopefully) satirical and humorous blog posting. But at Brahsome, we spend much of our time hovering eagerly over a bunch of fine lines, so why should today be any different? If you were some random Sheikh in Afganistan, and you sorta backed Osama but might be willing to deal for the right payout, what would you be looking for in return for your trouble? Straight cash? Some goats? A new, young wife to add to thine harem? Or maybe you really just want a chance to get it up for the wives you’ve already got? And enter the CIA with the little blue pill that’ll help you have her howling at the infdels all night long.
“If you give an asset $1,000, he’ll go out and buy the shiniest junk he can find, and it will be apparent that he has suddenly come into a lot of money from someone,” said Jamie Smith, a veteran of CIA covert operations in Afghanistan and now chief executive of SCG International, a private security and intelligence company. “Even if he doesn’t get killed, he becomes ineffective as an informant because everyone knows where he got it.”
The key, Smith said, is to find a way to meet the informant’s personal needs in a way that keeps him firmly on your side but leaves little or no visible trace.
No visible trace except for the mangled muff he leaves in his wake as a reminds the village who’s in charge.
“They learn the landscape, get to know the players, and adjust to the operating environment, no matter where it is,” the official said. “They think out of the box, take risks, and do what’s necessary to get the job done.”
I’d say they’re thinking exclusively in the box- like most men. And for a religeon that promises 72 virgins waiting for you on the other side, seems like some of these cheiftains would be more apt to just make a dash for the finish line instead of taking bribes from US Americans aiding their ability to bump n grind with their aging life partner. Then again, if you know that once you die, you’re never going to have anyone around with any experience, maybe you want to hit that for a while to brush back up on your skills and staying power before you head to the valley of the virge. Unforunately, none of us here at Brahsome practice Islam, so all that’s waiting for us (according to the Family Guy) is a shortage of chairs.
