Here at Brahsome, we’re products of the 80s, which means we lived right through the golden age of rap. Before it was all bling and bitches. Before MTV Cribs. Before L’il Jon. Back then it was Yo MTV Raps and Rap City. When most folks think back to these days, they hear Dre and Snoop and Public Enemy and Run DMC. And those folks are sickgnar, no doubt. But what about the other, maybe somewhat forgotten songs of the early 90s hip-hop scene? Here, in no particular order, are 11 of the best of the rest…

11. Pharcyde – Passin Me By


10. Geto Boyz – My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me

9. Black Sheep – The Choice Is Yours

8. Onyx – Slam

7. Lords of the Underground – Chief Rocka

6. Nice & Smooth – Sometimes I Rhyme Slow

5. Das Efx – They Want Efx

4. LL Cool J – Pink Cookies

3. Ice Cube – It Was a Good Day

2. DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince – Summertime

1. A Tribe Called Quest – Scenario

What’d we miss?

We haven’t pulled an 11 in a while, so we were due. And while watching an e-surance commerical the other day, we realized that chick is pretty smoke. Which begged the question: who are the hottest cartoon chicks ever? Well, we put the pipe down and our heads together, and here’s what we came up with. Got other thoughts? Holler at us in the comments. And if you’ve got a topic you want to know what our top-11 would be, shoot it over to blog@brahsome.com. Werd.

11. Betty Boop – Really the original butter face, but she’s got a kickin body for back in the day.

10. Cinderella – Who doesn’t love a girl that knows how to cook and clean?

9. Belle – At least you know she won’t make you wax your back.

8. Daphne Blake – Here’s a mystery for you- solve the case of the phantom rubber. I swear it was just right here.

7. Snow White – A little pale for our taste, but if you’re in freak mode, it seems like she’s down with both a group session and midgets, so there’s that.

6. Marge Simpson – Digs fat guys. Drinks on occasion. Seems to put up with a ton of shit. Our kind of woman.

5. Sleeping Beauty – This could really go two ways. I mean, she never wakes up, so you’d never get any. Or would you….

4. Princess Jasmine – She’s a princess, which is nice. Plus, sometimes we just like to take a trip down to brown town. Wonder if the magic carpet matches the curtains?

3. Ariel – Something intriguing about a woman who can hold he breath for that long (think hot tub, think lowyeb, think good times). Though she probably smells like fish.

2. Holli Would – She really, really wants it.

1. Jessica Rabbit – Just looks like she could teach us a thing or two. And while this is cartoons we want to plow, she’s nice enough to catch a beat to.

And just for shits and giggles, here’s another of Jessica that shows what she might look like if she was real. Jeebus.

With the death and unwarranted molestation of the Seattle NBA franchise — and the L itself — we thought we’d celebrate (because really, protest is futile at this point) the 11 greatest Supersonics. Sure, the franchise will be back at some point, and yeah, they get to keep the name (or $30 mil if they don’t get a franchise by 2013) but it won’t be the same.

The Seattle Supersonics as you know them no longer exist. The team is en route to Oklahoma City, and all Clay Bennett had to give up was his soul. What a deal!

Without further ado, our top 11 Supersonics of all time.

11. Nate McMillan – The other guard on those same Sonics teams, McMillan is also a Wolfpacker (bonus points) and coaches the bad-a Portland Blazers (bandwagon alert), the team he took over after manning up the Sonics job for the last half decade. He landed two All NBA Second Defensive Teams in the early 90’s and he rocks a flattop.

10. Ray Allen – It’s debatable whether or not Allen will actually be remembered as a Sonic when he retires; it seemed pretty likely he would be a Buck, which is why he’s been bumped down here, until the Celtics made our lives all hell won the title this past season. Besides, he got most of his reco as a Supersonic because he got to jack threes (franchise leader per game at 8.5)

9. Rashard Lewis – ‘Shard’s departure via free agency knocks him in the minds of most fans; had he stayed around (not that the Sonics would have paid him, mind you) he would have kept tacking onto his franchise record for three pointers made, which is especially impressive considering he was playing with Ray Allen the entire time.

8. Detlef Schrempf – Almost climbing to the top of the charts based on the Band of Horses song alone, Detlef was the third man on those early 90’s teams that thrilled America so much. He was the deadly spot up shooter that let Shawn Kemp roam free … okay, Shawn Kemp did whatever the hell he wanted, but still.

7. Dale Ellis – Okay, in fairness, my fondest memories are of this guy in a Bucks uniform, draining threes from the corner a la NBA Live 2000. But Sonics fans remember him back from 88-89 when he set the single season Sonics scoring record with 2,200+ points.

6. Gus Williams – Along with Sikma, Williams is one of the chief reasons the Seattle franchise is still considered to hold so much tradition, etc; they actually hung one from the Space Needle in 1979, bringing home Seattle’s only professional sports championship.

5. Jack Sikma – When you pull seven straight All Star Game selections, and you win your franchise a banner, you most certainly qualify.

4. Shawn Kemp – perhaps this is too high for the rainman, based solely on legacy and fatness and whatnot. But if you’re just using “Earth-shattering, freak of nature slam dunks” as your basis for deciding how to rank them, he could be higher.

3.Spencer Haywood – Haywood would be higher if it weren’t for the fact that he lost several of his great years working in the ABA; when he finally came over to Seattle though, he dominated. He averaged 30 and 13 his first year in the NBA and made four All Star Teams.

2. Lenny Wilkins – Wilkins is the all time biggest winner and all time biggest loser in NBA coaching history, but he made his original mark as a player with the Sonics and then later as coach. He’s the only Hall of Famer from the franchise (as of now) and you could easily make a case that he deserves the top spot. Sue us, we’re young.

1. Gary Payton – The Glove was a fixture of the basketball scene while we were growing up; the Eddie Vedder to Shawn Kemp’s Kurt Cobain, if you will. It’s easy to forget just how Hall of Fame amazing he was when all you can remember is a feeble attempt to win a ring with Miami and Los Angeles. Payton was a demigod.

Prviously on These Go To 11:
These Go To 11: Finishing Moves
These Go To 11: Music Videos
These Go To 11: Sneaky Hot Box

Also related:
Suggestions for new Oklahoma City Fans
Tell me how my ass tastes ringtone
We love ‘Sheed

After an extended absence, These Go To Eleven is back. This week’s intallment is the top Saturday Night Live skits of all time***, inspired by next week’s SNL: Best of Alec Baldwin. We are big Baldwin fans here at Brahsome and have actually featured them before in These Go To Eleven: Top Eleven Baldwin Vehicles. For those of you new to TGTE, we come up with a category and each brah names his personal top five. The results are put into a super complicated mathematical formula which produces the top eleven.

***- The brahs are in our late twenties, so our memory of SNL is 90s centric. With apologies to Belushi, Chase and Murphy, these are our favorites.

Previous 11’s: Sitcom Crushes, Swimsuit Models, Wrestling Finishing Moves, Music Videos

Ed. Note: If you don’t check out Chris Mottram’s Farley related Halloween costume today, you have failed.

11. Schmitts Gay- The Piler

10. Really? With Amy and Seth- Brinson

9. Lazy Sunday- C. Brahkowski

8. Taco Town- Brinson

7. Bennet Brauer- Stamos

6. Schweddy Sausages on NPR- C. Brahkowski

5. Celebrity Jeopardy- Brinson

4. Dick in a Box- The Piler & Brinson

3. More Cowbell- The Piler, C. Brahkowski, Stamos & Brinson

2. Chippendales Audition- The Piler & Stamos

1. Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker- The Piler, Stamos and Kigh

Related Posts:
Kenneth the Page
Time Warner Sucks
Horacio Kane

Hot. College. Ass.

On this week’s Brown Hour we discussed, among other things, the top 5 sit-com stars that, for whatever reason, over the years we found attractive. Stamos was adamant that I make it clear that the title ‘Sit-Com Crushes,’ meant the desire to crush dat ass, not ‘crush’ in the puppy-love sense of the word. He was worried about our street cred. Except that with this list, there are a few where crush dat ass seems highly inappropriate.

11. Candace Cameron Bure – DJ Tanner (Full House) – Yes, that DJ Tanner. We have no idea what Brinson is talking about here, but since he included her in his list, we must include her in our’s. The list gets better after the jump, I promise. (Brinson)

10. Nikki Cox – Tiffany Mallow (Unhappily Ever After) – I honestly don’t remember a lot about the show…but she was hot. (Brahkowski)

9. Karyn Parsons – Hillary Banks (Fresh Prince of Bell-Aire) – Nice pick by The Piler…didn’t see this one coming. (The Piler)

8. Lori Laughlin – Rebecca ‘Becky’ Katsopolis (Full House) – I’m pretty sure this is the only Full House character that should be anywhere near this list. (The Piler)

7. Christina Applegate – Kelly Bundy (Married With Children) – She should be higher on our list. She was/is smokin’. (Stamos)

6. Nicole Eggert – Jamie Powell (Charles In Charge) – Jamie came in with the second family after the Pembroke’s got booted due to ratings. I was in love with her…and she’s aged very, very well. (Brahkowski)

5. Danica McKellar – Winnie Cooper (The Wonder Years) – Another one that is too low. Who wasn’t in love with sweet, sweet Winnie? (Stamos)

4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Elaine Benes (Seinfeld) – Doesn’t really need an explanation. Throughout the show’s history, she slowly got hotter and hotter. (Stamos/Brinson/Brahkowski)

3. Danielle Fishel – Topanga Lawrence-Matthews (Boy Meets World) – I was the only one not to pick her…I guess that’s because I’ve never seen an episode of this show. (Stamos/Brinson/Piler)

2. Alyssa Milano – Samantha Micelli (Who’s the Boss) – Much like Winnie Cooper, Ms. Micelli came along while we were still young…so we kind of grew up together. (Brinson/Brahkowski/Piler)

1. Tiffany-Amber Theissen – Kelly Kapowski (Saved By the Bell) – Surprisingly, the only unanimous choice for the list. She really needs no introduction. (All)

Honorable Mention: Christine Lakin, Step by Step
Previous “11″ Lists:
Sneaky Hot Women
Best Music Videos
SI Swimsuit Models

Marisa Miller’s Opening Day Pitch

Zombie Strippers!

Other Top 11’s

Top 11 Sitcom Crushes
Top 11 Music Videos Ever

You should be familiar with These Go To Eleven by now, but just in case, here’s the 411: on the Brown Hour (our radio show) we have a top-5 list each week that we wrap the show up with. Then, on Wednesday, we use a complex formula to tabulate the relative value of the 4 brahs’ votes (read: Stamos just decides what he likes best) to come up with a top-11 list. That list is then shared with you, the reader, so you have an opportunity to see what some real men think, and voice your displeasure accordingly. And away we go…

11. Veronika Varikova

10. Ana Beatriz Barros

9. Yesica Toscanini

8. Tyra Banks

7. Rebecca Romijn

6. Elle MacPherson

5. Maria Sharapova

4. Petra Nemcova

3. Kathy Ireland

2. Heidi Klum

1. Marissa Miller

What the hell else are we supposed to come up with? Are we right? Hmmm? Hmmm? Of course we are. So we have our top 11 Super Bowl ads of all time, as determined by a not-so-random panel of selected voters and then run five times through a complex biorhythm. If you don’t like ‘em, or you do like ‘em, or you’ve got better suggestions, let us know in the comments, as always.

11. “Macintosh” (1984)
It should be higher, but we’re young. And none of us own those fru-fru Macs (although Brinson, purportedly, is considering buying one because he thinks he’s some sort of “mastermind” around these parts).

10. “Cat Herders” (2000)
It’s just so smart. And there’s something funny about herding cats. We can’t lie. Well played, EDS.

9. “Frogs” (1995)
If we didn’t resent it for all the spinoffs it spawned, it would likely be much higher. But damn it was clever back in the day, especially when all we thought we wanted was beer. Little did we know how right we were.

8. “Mean Joe Greene”
We choke up every damn time. Oh, Mean Joe. You tore still-only-technically-existing-as-semen-hearts out back in 1979, and nothing’s really changed.

7. “Rollin’ VIP” (2007)
Someone involved around or with Kevin Federline has some brains, right? At least they marketed his douchey ass somehow. Although word on the street is his attorneys are seeking another 300k from Brit-Brit. Wonk, wonk.

6. “Just One Look” Pepsi/
Goddamn that new Pepsi can was sexy as hell. Seriously, remember when a “new can” and crap like “Clear Pepsi” actually inspired market surges? Yeah, us either. Dude, we’re not old.

5. “Bud Bowl” (many years)
Stamos questioned the commercial validity of this string of great contests, but F Stamos. He’s not in charge of the listing this week, and there were certain years where the Bud Bowl was more exciting than the actual game (remember when the Steve Young slippyfisted the Chargers?)

4. Pepsi Deliverymen (1996)
When you really think about it, the Super Bowl was just a Pepsi-Coke pissing contest for a few years.

3. “Wazzzzup” (1999) We tried to deny it, but we can’t. And while now it seems horrible, at the time, everyone repeated that phrase for like six months. Stamos apparently still does on occasion. (We’re clearly dating ourselves when you’ve seen Wazzup ahead of the Apple commercial, btw.)

2. “Terry Tate: Office Linebacker” (2003) Again, no need to get rid of him. We can’t really explain, nor should we need to, the sheer joy we take in seeing some cube-lackey get his clock cleaned for acting like a bag at the office. And we like other people’s pain, but whatever.

1. “The Showdown” – Jordan v. Bird (1993) An instant classic that we wish they still ran, where Jordan and Bird play a game of HORSE for a Big Mac, bouncing balls off more places than [insert Tom Brady in Boston bar joke here].