You “ladies” and “gentlemen” may remember our very own Boxy Brown, she of Celebrity Hot Box fame. Well, bitches, she’s back. And bringing the celebrity funk. In just a bit we’ll be rolling out an MSMB as well, as part of our Box Party Weekend Spectacular. Got questions for Boxy, Magic Sarah or want to see a certain celeb issue covered on Brahsome? Hit us on the hipnag at blog@brahsome.com

Well I guess one thing will make a girl come out of hiding and for this gal it is having someone pop on the scene and try to rip your style. Let me just dive balls deep into what is going on. Bulleted list appears below as Mrs. Boxy got all classy and shit while away.

1. Please see image to your right. This bothers me for two reasons. First beginning that situation would NEVER happen. She has long hair and not even the tips are damp. I would say it is because her adorable new tittering on C cup is keeping her afloat but her hair is too long to keep it all dry. Second, being just Spencer as a person. How would you like to be in a relationship where not only did the guy suck so bad you lost all friends and almost your job but then you had to think about fucking him. The only option would be clinch your ass let him go straight for it and desperately hope he shoots his load quick. Do not even get me started on those F’ing nightmare nights they go out alone have a couple of drinks which give him limp dick that he thinks is going to produce something. If I was her I would let him pound me until it formed a hole in the wall so I could crawl in it and die.

2. Lohan on/off wagon. Each report different. Here is my report bitches. It is simple. Homegirl has a bigger problem than boozing like all people her age. All you hear is Lohan sipping champagne at New Years when you should be hearing what happened later. Lohan getting her face fucked while listening to Fergies Glamorous. News for you sweet tits – it’s not so glamorous to be throwing up the champ and thick puddy after a couple of hair boys where bouncing off your chin. Kids these days grow up so damn fast.

(Ed. Note: Yeah, I know this picture is unrelated to the news but I’ve got bullet points too, slutbags. 1. Look at her lathering method. So solid. 2. Maybe I don’t watch The Hills, but Heidi seems like the top that might rock the following fashion trend.)
3. The last thing I would like to comment on is not celebrity related. It is dealing with something I had no idea was still in existence until I had the privilege of seeing it recently. What I am referring to is the oh so hot fashion trend of wearing thongs that peek out of your trousers. I thought this had left us long ago but oh no friends some ladies are still to this day rocking the shit out of the look. The reason I want to bring this up is because it absolutely baffles me. First how to you get your look together. Do you put on the thongs, pull on your pants and then give those lace straps a tug up? How do you decide how much length between the lines and the pants? Also how do you look in the mirror and say to yourself damn girl I am bringin it? The look basically tells the opposite or same sex I will let you slap me in my face with your shit ridden slong after you defile me at my mothers house at my 3 year old sisters birthday party during the afternoon. There are no limits with this look. It is either that or it could be all for engineering purposes meaning you have aloud everything up to a small colt to rip into you that you have to do this maneuver just to keep those delicate lips from cause an irritation when rubbing against your knees. I truly do not know but if anyone does know the meaning and reason behind this enlighten your girl.

Girl, Girl, Girl Boxy is back and can’t get the words out fast enough. Someone out there tell a sister they saw the VMAs. Can I just say two words – Britney. Bitches. I mean who really throws out “insert your own name here – bitches”. That is even higher level than someone telling you that you are pretty and saying “I know”. I want someone to find me a girl with bigger balls than that. Home girl rolls out with a hair piece (which, P.S., who knew hair pieces could get nappy), sequined lingerie and stripper boots. I guess she didn’t have time to run by the fax to get the memo she is about the size of a baby calf. I hope that I at least have 2 or 3 friends out there that if I tried to walk out of the house in that would open hand slap me straight across my face. I am personally asking in this column for any friends that I have reading this article if this situation happens to me look me dead in the eye and say “grow up and stop acting like you work at that rundown whore house on the outskirts of any large city where the parking lot is made for only 18 wheelers.” She knew she was doing this show for a while now, I’m sure, and the way I see it she has two very logical things she could have done:


1) ( Easy) Cover-up. If you have to walk into the sex shop and ask for a sequined bra but request that it has a breast feeding flap that’s a red flag you might should regroup and buy a different outfit.
2) Get some sort of surgery and use the left over fat to make a bear suit. We all saw Tara do it and no it didn’t work out great but at least she gave it the ole college try.

I would not unload on Brit if she’d been honest with me in the beginning. Let’s all think back years and years ago when we saw the birth of Brit, Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, etc. Brit came out with “Hey, I’m just a good ole girl that has never even had anyone see my vagina and I am going to keep it that way until I find that one special boy to call my husband”. Aguilera came out with “Listen, Ladies I am going to let any man with a rod of substantial size jam it in all orifices I have and I will let your mother watch me drink the leftovers.” So my point here is I respect the shit out of Aguilera because she let us know from the beginning she was going to be a hungry raging trash whore from day one and Brit lied to all of us. For this reason I do not feel bad about the way I feel.

Well, well, fucking well. Look who decided to roll out of the [cum] dumpster out back and grace us with her presence this week? We kid, we kid. (Kind of.) Boxy Brown whose been on hiatus do various things including apparent emotional issues (We read somewhere their periods attract bears) and adjusting to a new job (who knew? actual work is harder than handjobs). But we’re glad she’s back, and hope you’ll hit up the jump as Ms. Brown lets her box hang out.
Care To Get Nice?

Well, all celebs’ fav candidate for President Obama (holler at your boy) is backing the idea of teaching kids about sex ed in kindergarten. Well, kids, today is going to be pretty standard. We will do our normal sing-a-long and dance to get the blood flowing, have a 100% natural juicy juice and dunkaroos and then we will teach you how, when you start crying because you pissed all over yourself in your bed, Mommy and Daddy may take a little longer to come get you because Daddy is pulling Mommy around the room like a donkey before he shits on her chest. Next week we will cover what is really happening when you see Mommy’s face attached to Daddy’s Dockers and she is giving him the ‘wrap it up signal’ with her hand. That will be titled “Mommy knows Daddy can find some cheap slut to blow him if she won’t. Great idea possible future Pres. We should decrease the average age of a young girl blossoming into a raging freak whore by at least 3-5 years.

I am sure everyone has seen our girl Brit Brit gearing up for her new video. It has gotten to the point where it is literally sad to even see her. I feel bad for her—I really do. It’s amazing someone can actually have that much money and—let’s face it—potential but still somehow manage to be hands down the biggest trash skank to roam this great land in decades or very possible ever. I don’t know what to do either so please any suggestions are welcomed. How would you feel if your body looked like it was a waste pit of Marlboro Reds and box wine and everything you put on no matter how expensive made you look like you just got plowed by the Girls Gone Wild guy followed by him making you walk back in the blazing sun with one heel broken.

So the new skinny with me is I have started taking roids for the next couple weeks due to an illness. I always thought “roid rage” was sort of a joke but it is not. I have been a crazy emotional bitch for the last week. I actually gave an elderly woman the half flick off, you know the throw your hands up, roll you eyes and shaking your head, driving home from work because she was trying to get into my lane. And I am talking about 85 + year old woman. She was probably already terrified to be getting on the highway she was about to merge on because her Caddy hasn’t been over 41 in the last 30 years and then I have to go and treat her like she is a burden to society for even attempting to go out to meet her pals at the new Shoney’s. It makes me sick to be acting this way but I truly cannot help it. Try not to be creepy and keep it as brahsome as possible friends until next time.

Ed. Note: We know Boxy is busy as shit, so she probably just missed this, but we couldn’t let this weekend go by without at least acknowledging the mangled alien carcass that is posing as Tara Reid’s stomach skin. This, folks, is what it looks like after you get your stomach pumped for the 30th time for consuming a disgustingly large amount of the vodka / soda / semen mixture Miss Reid calls the Saturday Night Stunner.

We thank you all for patiently waiting. Boxy’s back from her sea(men) sickness and ready to dispense with the celebrity bru-ha-ha and whatnot, including most of the regulars and a pregnant Ethiopian. First though, she talks about independence and may or may not delve into some major self-esteem issues after that. And since she quit putting out, we don’t have to throw her a fake “Noooo, you’re not fat” anymore, either.
Care To Get Nice?

First off I would like to say I hope everyone kept it independent yesterday. Also our girl wrote us a sweet little 4th message on myspace. Paris lets us know to just sorta you know play it cool and have a DD while celebrating. Thank doll. Until I read that I was going to get shitcanned, put the top down and take a lot of chances. A true humanitarian that girl.

Nicole Ritchie is supposedly pregnant. That is going to be pretty awkward when the kid comes out of the womb weighing more than mom and we will not even scratch the surface about what this kid is going to do about breast feeding. She would be better of renting an overweight 8 year old boy for the kid to suck teet than the poor thing trying to get a drop out of that cutting board.

Speaking of cutting boards, Lins got take a break from working that razor back and forth across her wrist to, according to perezhilton, “chain smoke…flirt up a storm with the male partygoers” and hang out with Paris and sister Nicky. Seriously, what down-on-her-luck whore won’t these sluts befriend in order to get some publicity? The really effed up thing is that Lohan had her own party…in rehab. What the hell, trig??? Go get your shit clean, give your snatch an effing break for a few weeks and try to figure out what the hell is wrong with your life (hint: too much cocaine and penis).

I also wanted to give a quick insight to Boxy’s new day job status. First I am gaining weight exponentially. I was driving home the other day and could literally feel my second chin dropping. If you have never felt this it is a very weird feeling. The company offers a gym membership. I signed up and currently sitting here at the end of the day thinking of all the reasons I can’t go. There is nothing sadder than realizing you are straight lying to yourself about yourself. I am looking down at my thighs right now going well they don’t look too much bigger than before and then reality hits and I see the arm to my chair is hiding half of my 80 year old tree trunk. The only thing I can be excited about is my titties are growing. Well I guess if this turned into a straight “titty effing only world” I would be just fine. It is time for a change. Anyone out there feeling down on their appearance please ask yourself the following question – “Would I have sex with myself when blackout and be mortified in the morning?”. If the answer is yes I think you know what needs to be done.

So this is waaaaaaaaaay late. And there’s a very valid reason why. Our dog ate Boxy’s submission. I mean, our computer crashed and it deleted everything. Actually, there was a power outage and we lost internet service for the last 18 hours. In reality, right now it’s Thursday afternoon and you all are just very confused. Honestly, Stamos blacked the fuck out last night and is just getting to work and somehow he’s the only one who can post the Hot Box this week because he’s so technically savvy like that. Whatever. Go fuck yourselves. Here’s that Hot Box.
Care To Get Nice?

I am going to do something a little different for just one week because it is a special week for Boxy. I recently started a new day job. You didn’t think I just followed celebs around all the time did you? Anywho, here is the deal…being a member of office life is the most interesting thing you will ever do if you participate correctly. First let’s discuss the people that make up your average American office.

Mr. Manager – Senor Johnny Standard. Pretty whatever kind of guy. Don’t talk to him very much but for some reason when you do you literally cannot think of anything to say and end up stuttering some comment that makes you look like Baby on Dirty Dancing the first time she meets Johnny.

The lady that LOVES her job and everyone in the company. You know her – she’s a little corky and little crazy. Candy dish filled to the brim at her desk. Somehow she remembers everyone’s birthday. She loves her cats and refers to them as “us”. A real go getter.

The hot guy/gal of the office. We all know they are not really that hot but for the office you extend your normal standards. If you saw them on the street they would be borderline at best.

Quiet Talker Girl – Usually from a real small town 45 minutes outside of the city you work in. Used to be real hot and petite, still not big but definitely gained some weight since the senior prom, and got her GED from the community college nearby. She is smart as whip but very comfortable doing the same job she has been doing for the last 9 years. She is married to the same guy she dated all throughout high school – he is 6’4 and she is 5’1 (you should have seen the wedding pictures they were adorable). Her cube has about 23 pictures of her family and #3 is on the way and they are going to call him Steve Jr – finally a boy!

Mr. I am 47 but still really brahsome. The guy that “has smoked more weed” than any of the young employees have ever seen, has the ole story about drinking 5 cases of beer at a football game and talks in the voice of Timmy on South Park character when walking up to your desk so you are forced to give the most awkward courtesy laugh ever. Painful. There have been situations here I have actually gotten hives it got so weird.

The #1 rule that kills me in the office environment is the situation that goes down in the ladies room. You could be in there and hear someone blow the roof off of the ceiling but when they walk out of that stall you better be composed. She will give you the “I know you know I just logged the biggest queef of my life” but all you can do is give a half “awww” smile and continue to dry your hands.

Last I want to touch on the #1 office perk…PIZZA IN THE BREAKROOM! Why you ask? Because they need you to stay 4 extra hours to count inventory. Great idea guys – over half of the employees here are 3 times the size they should be. Thanks boss man – I cannot stop to pick up pizza for my family because you don’t pay me shit but at least I got to scarf down that one last cold piece of half wet, soggy sausage before I logged 4 hours of unpaid overtime.

Please don’t fret readers. Soon I will discuss what goes down at the one time a year there is an office party with alcohol which will lead us into an in-depth description of a moral hangover.

Boxy Brown, currently the sole female member of the Brahsome crew, follows celebrity gossip like it’s her job. As long as her actual employer is still paying her salary, we at Brahsome.com get to reap the rewards of the free internet access they provide her with as she keeps herself abreast of all the celeb happenings. Then, she’s nice enough to share with us (and you, her faithful following) all that she’s learned and what she thinks about it. This week Boxy gets bullet crazy but eventually hugs it out. Bitch. She opens up her box after the jump.
Care To Get Nice?

Well here is the deal this week – I would honestly rather have my leg severed than talk about that flabby lip sloot again so lets just do a very quick bulleted rundown and then we can move on:• The stale snatch went back in the slammer because the judge could give two shits less and bottom line is nothing was wrong with her except she was scared someone would try to eat her out at recess. I got news for you sweetie – even those 6’1” 330 linebackers in there don’t eat their steak well done. No matter how hard some people might actually be, everyone wants a little pink in the center and I’ll put money on the fact yours turned gray by the time you were 12.
• Her family and friends keep breaking in line when going to visit her. I cannot wait for the day one of these women, going to visit her cousin that is in for stealing a car so the family could eat, gets a hold of sweet, sweet Kathy. Let me tell you something Kat – this mother of 13 has about 45 more minutes before it is time to go back to work at the tire and service center at Wal-Mart so unless you want a homemade shank through your Chanel suit you best go to the back of the line bitch.
• All and all, whatever, who cares—she’s in there. All we can do is hope during these next few weeks her tan fades, her extensions come loose, her nails chip and we can taunt her with the ole “they’re all gonna laugh at you!” jokes.

There are not many things to report in the world of celebrity because they all got the memo that no matter what wall they ran into after doing blow with Jeremy Piven in the bathroom of Bungalow 8, who got knocked up by someone they costarred with on One Tree Hill, or even who got married on a secluded island (much like the one in Lost yet the choppers still seem to find them) would not matter since Ms. Hilton is back at the Big House – no publicity for you guys WONK WONK. So today is dedicated to the celebrity that really burns me up (which there are a many more but this one is just about #1 on my hit list)
• As mentioned above, Sir Jeremy Piven – who the hell told him he is the same age as the rest of the cast on Entourage. Stop acting like you are 26. He is like 50, not really, 42 but still. After you are 40 it is not cute to:
A. Bring you mother to a premier. Come on, everyone knows people do that to get laid and you could have just stayed at the retirement home you went to pick her up at to get laid you douche.
B. Unbutton the 3rd button. Your chest hair is gray and falling out. I need you to tell me who tells you that it is very good-looking.
C. The whole big tie thing he tries to pull off. Big bulky tie peeping out of his sweater. You are not British. Stop acting like you are British.
D. Painters hats and tight boy tees are for teens and gays, not you Mr. Piven.

Look, I’m sorry to be so hard on the guy but someone has to tell him. And for some reason it seems his entire support group of family and friends hate him enough to allow him to go prancing around the neighborhood like that. Give the guy a fighting chance and tell him men his age wear Dockers (weekend fit) and polos.

I won’t argue he carries the show but you can’t argue that when you turn on the TV and see him being a real ass on E! it makes you cringe. Until next week friends.

We’ve been getting angry e-mails all morning begging for Boxy. And while it’s a little tardy, it’s better late than never right? Boxy was detained while playing with the Stupid Spoiled Whore Press Conference Playset and simultaneously having to diffuse the largest snuke ever found in a snizz, but she’s here now, and she’s gonna dive into some news you may or may not have heard about this morning.
Care To Get Nice?
Mini Feed: Enrique Iglesias was asked what keeps him up at night…you would stay up at night too if you had to think of 75 different “I want to F you with my eyes” looks just to stay ahead of the game since your music… uh … well lets be honest – blows.

Donald Trump, Jr. and his wife revealed the first photos of their baby – awesome! Sweet! No one cares assbag.

My sincere apologies for Boxy running late this Thursday but that slaying device some call Ms. Hilton threw me for a loop when she busted out this morning. After attending the press conference around 10 am eastern, it’s clear this was nothing more than Paris giving a solid-tug reacharound through the bars to Los Angeles County Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore at about 11:30 last night. Seeing his face this morning, it was evident that something recently went down that classifies as more exciting than the usual missionary style dead fish he gets from his wife who, by the way, “just can’t seem to shake the weight after the second baby”.

When Paris got to the jail it was reported she didn’t have to do a cavity search or spread her legs. Why the hell does someone think that would offend her? She made a sex tape with Rick Salomon and is reported to have a mirrored four post bed worth 20 grand—she’s so into herself she wants to be able to see every tanned crevasse of her plastic physique get jimmy plowed by every pretty boy with an oil rig. We aren’t exactly talking about Winnie Cooper during the Wonders Years here. What we are talking about is a sex driven slut that will do anything for a dime including hang out with Brit Brit. In the pictures you see of these two together, Paris is literally laughing at the fact she is arm and arm with the biggest skank (Ed Note: second? Really.) of our times, but she knows the cameras will be flashing and that’s all that matters to the entrepreneur.

So now they are reassigning her to 40 days house arrest – oh wow, sheriff’s really kicking her when she’s down. This douche during the press conference was all trying to make it seem like she was really getting it taken too her now. Shut up you loser and stop acting like you are sending her to Alcatraz. Her house is a quaint little Tuscan number worth $3.1 mil. Please place all those flags at half mast tonight for this unfortunate and cruel behavior she will have to endure. She will now be lounging by the pool and the worst thing to come of this is the tan line from her foot bracelet she has to wear. They say she can’t stay in the jail due to a medical condition. Oh what, she cried each night and was a little frightened by the screams? You think homegirl three cells over that has pulled each strand of hair out and turned it into Mittens the talking kitten…you think she gets to go anywhere? Oh hell no.

This really sucks. I was going to use this whole “the price is wrong bitch” line since they filmed Bob Barker’s last show on Wednesday but nope – can’t do that now. Thanks for ruining my day cunt.

Boxy’s back! By popular demand of course, our celebrity expert gets balls (er, whatever) deep into the weekly celebrity gossip. Her interweb connection has been down, meaning she had to jerk a barista at the local Harbucks for a free T-Mobile pass, so make sure and thank her for the extended effort as she opens up her box and checks in on a certain skank who topped a certain list in a certain magazine.

MINI FEED – Rosie O’Donnell is writing in her own blog about her “pain”. Brought it on yourself Rosie – no one is trying to “View” an overweight bulldyke. Angelina’s son is now legally named Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt – finally that is confirmed and we can all get some shut eye.

The question was asked if I have an opinion on the Maxim 100 Hottest List – the answer, “why of course”. I have decided I am not going to unload the fury on this list of cheap hookers because I have a very big heart, but there is still a point I want to touch on: assuming you have a working hole or two and pair of lungs, what girl that’s not a deuce/deuce and a ½ is not going to look at least semi-hot any of the following situations:

- wearing a little black leather number while standing in a shower semi-servicing herself;
- white lace bra filled with huge pups making the “who me?” face;
- the ‘I am sweaty and tired with my pants falling off but I will somehow F your brains out’;
- the ‘Oh my, you caught me off guard thank goodness I have on a thong and happen to be crawling on my red fur carpet”;
- or the ‘I am a huge tomboy that happens to have a luscious rack and lips that basically look like a penis holster’ look.

Looking at those photos reminded me of the girls in eighth grade that wore the white T’s on field day, knowing damn well we would have a water fight at the end of the afternoon. I can still close my eyes and hear them screaming at the boys when they are shooting the hose directly at their under developed nips, just like I remember wanting to just say “stop being a cock tease, virgin.” Everyone knew only about one out of ten of the girls was going to let a guy titty bomb her behind the gym. Just goes to show, some things never change – the girls just got richer and were able to buy a solid C to D cup instead of lying about a C cup that was really a B.

After I reviewed all these ladies, I realized I have a huge problem with #1, Ms. Lohan, just as my esteemed colleagues on Brahsome, and as many Americans—I’m sure—do. Reasons? Plenty:

- She would let Cisco Adler “dirty sanchez” on her for a bump
- She’s not even old enough to drink but she has the slit of a 62 year old
- Her middle name is Dee. That is about as trashy as your name being Trish or Tiffany but call her Tiff.

So what I am saying, gentlemen, is if you plan to think about effing Lohan you will:
- need to be in touch with some sort of cartel
- be getting the herpes that originated from Aaron Carter, which is sweet
- need an all day pass to Promises to visit her and her family on the weekends – we all know what recently happened to Ms. Lohan, but just in case, the recap is the tramp got all jacked, got a dewy and crashed her car. Now she is in rehab – again. Is that a Freaky enough Friday for you?

- Boxy -

(Ed. Note: Please join us in giving a smug Brahsome.com welcome to our newest contributer, Boxy Brown. We brought Boxy in to dispense invaluable opinions on all things celebrity-related and to class up the proverbial joint. Well, that and she promised us all handjobs. She’ll be flaunting her box (of celebrity information) in the form of a mini-feed and various rants every Thursday. Enjoy her words after the jump.)

Mini Feed for the Week –24 actress Kim Raver, a.k.a. Audrey Raines, is pregnant. The only thing we thought Jack couldn’t do – get a woman pregnant while she’s in a coma. I guess you’d probably have to be half dead to handle his package but I’m still amazed he found time to put a bun in Audrey’s oven instead of either using the bathroom or bothering to actually eat…Katie Holmes is threatening to take legal action over the teenage porn star that changed her name to Katee Holmes and is going to lose her virginity on-screen. Sorry, Katie, but if you hadn’t played the innocent girl on Dawson’s Creek when we all knew you were banging Dawson and Pacey, this wouldn’t have happened. Karma’s a bitch, huh?…Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend after “tripping over her pet Chihuahua”. Are you even kidding me?…Angelina is taking a year off of acting to spend time with her family and any other families she decides to break up this year…Jessica Alba said her looks can be deceiving and she is really “super goofy”. Can I just say that makes me so mad I literally cannot type fast enough. You’re not super goofy, you effing trig. You’re a walking porn movie—somehow without being trashy though!!—so please stop making me feel worse about myself than I already do, and just admit that if you could, you would totally F yourself because that’s how hot you are. If I were you at least I would have the guts to admit I stare at my own box every night with a compact mirror and perform regular breast exams, not because I’m concerned but because my breasts are that effing spectacular. Have some respect for yourself and the rest of us, and just be honest Ms. Alba. Please.What I really want to touch on this week though, is two shows that are truly a huge part of all our lives – Dancing with the Stars: the final dance, and The Bachelor.

Well, on the first count, Apolo Anton Ohno won. Needless to say the sky is the limit for him now. Just when you thought a male figure skater couldn’t become more of a homosexual, the world hands us a prewrapped package like this. Some people are actually quoted saying “Oh-no Zone”. I wish I even had the strength to comment on that. Dancing just confirms people like Joey Fatone, Laila Ali and Billy Ray Cyrus should have never been a part of Americans’ lives in the first place, since this show provides the perfect venue for a last stale bit of hope for these complete no names to try and hog the spotlight. Once they are booted off, the crew of Deee-Lite (don’t even act like you don’t remember “Groove is in the Heart”) is there to counsel them and remind them of their crimes against humanity in general. Please just bite the bullet and realize that you wasted your time, life and money on trying to become something that just simply isn’t going to work out for you. I’m sorry but none of us care and our hearts go out to you that this last chance didn’t work. At least you made a real ass out of yourself trying though.

As for The Bachelor, the decision was made. Andy chose Tessa and booted Bevin, but they are saying no rush to marry. Oh really, no sh*t. Here’s a hint, Andy, you smug s-o-b: you’re never going to get married, mainly because you don’t even know this broad. They will awkwardly hang out for a month or two until one of them realizes how badly the other sucks and just what a terrible idea this was in the first place. I’ll bet anyone reading this that one of the two will gain 40 pounds and be on “Celebrity Fit Club” in ‘09. The moral to this story though is something I wanted to share with my 12-16 year old audience. If you act like a whore on the first date like our good friend Bev, you will not be chosen to offer the covenant final rose because he has no reason to see your stank snatch for a second time. Thanks ABC!