Ladies: you underperformed. We understand — it’s tough to shop for dudes at Christmas. Most of the time, we just want fucking gift certificates we’re so fickle that it’s impossible to please. However, Brooks Brothers (with the assistance of Jennifer Aniston) is going to help you make up for whatever holiday shopping sins you committed, by getting us a new tie.

That tie, of course, is the same one Aniston is wearing to the left, and it’s available at Brooks Brothers (bonus being that both you and your man can wear it.

Jen Aniston wore a red white and blue Brooks Brothers cravate for her now famous nude GQ cover shoot.

The “Triple Guard Stripe Tie,” made of Italian silk and cotton, features a 2 1/4″ width, grosgrain trim at the neck, and is made in the USA.

And now the tie, which normally retails for $150, is on sale for $112.50.

See?


Aniston, of course, rocked this puppy out on David Letterman:

So, to sum up: go buy this please. It’s on sale.

It’s taken a little while, but I’m firmly ensconced on the Olympics bandwagon at this point — watching a bunch of swimming (which is so sneaky exciting) and seeing the Redeem Team plow through Beijing like LeBron through a lane full of Pistons is just GD patriotizing.

Oh and it might have been Misty May in her volleyball bikini tonight that put it over the top for creating a top 11 list of the hottest Olympians hanging out in China. Or maybe it was …. Twwwwwwins.

And, in all honesty, it was kind of tough to leave Michael Phelps off this list. He’s just so damn hot right now. But we like ladies, so we’re going with female Olympians. Your thoughts on our rankings after the jump. Commentary by The Piler.

11. Dara Torres — There might be hotter Olympians out there, but Torres gets extra points for having a body like that as a 41 year old mother. Not to mention Cougars are extremely brahsome. Did I mention she’s more than twice as old as some of the other ladies on this list?

10. Tatiana Golovin — If this were a sexy name contest, Tatiana would probably walk away with the title. Too bad she’s not even the hottest Russian born tennis player on our list.

9. Amanda Beard — One of the most photographed ladies on the list, Beard has bared all for Playboy. Fortunately, she does not live up to her surname…

8. Alicia Sacramone
Alicia is the only gymnast to make the list and we love how she works dat balance beam. She’s also one of the few gymnasts that wouldn’t send us to jail if she got nice on our balance beam.

7. Jennie Finch — Finch has been a mainstay on the American softball scene for years now. Where were chicks like this on my high school’s softball team? They could kick brinson’s ass and grew better beards than any of the brahs.

6. Alona Bondarenko — Another tennis player on the list, this Ukranian beauty won the 2008 Australian Open women’s doubles tournament with sister Kateryna, who isn’t too shab herself.

5. Heather Mitts — Soccer chicks are usually hot and Heather Mitts is no exception. My parents never really caught on as to why I went to so many of my sister’s soccer games in high school. They thought I was just being a good brother.

4. Bia and Branca — So what if they didn’t make the Brazilian Olympic roster? They play an Olympic sport on a team that’s in the Olympics and they’re effing twins.

3. Leryn Franco — C. Brahkawski clued you in to javelin thrower Leryn Franco earlier in the week. What’s not to love about a hot chick that likes to play with long, hard objects?

2. Ana Ivanovic — Who cares if she withdrew? We don’t. Smoke. Stack.

1. Maria Sharapova — She’s hot and she wins. Not that we ever really dogged Kournikova for it, but whatevs.

H/T to Cush for the research help.

More hotness on Bia and Branca

Leryn Franco is fuego

Topless Wii

The Phelps diet

The latest James Bond installment, Quantum of Solace, is due to release in North America on November 7. In 007’s 22nd adventure he

battles Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric), a member of the Quantum organization posing as an environmentalist, who intends to stage a coup d’état in Bolivia to take control of its water supply. Bond seeks revenge for the death of Vesper Lynd, and is assisted by Camille (Olga Kurylenko), who also wants to kill Greene. The title was chosen from an unrelated short story in Ian Fleming’s For Your Eyes Only (1960).

Courtesy of Wikipedia. Take the jump for some more pics of Bond Girl Olga Kurylenko.

This is almost based solely on the fact that there are two photos of shirtless doods and one video of a guy getting his nuts knocked in by a 50 mph tennis ball, but it’s also a great debate, originated by Joe Ovies at 850 the BuzzBlog.

Personally, I’m taking Marissa Miller to win in three rounds here, assuming they’re involved in some sort of nude mud wrestling. If not, I’ll still take the SI Swimsuit cover girl and Maxim’s number one hottest woman in the entire free world. Debate from you is appreciated.

[poll id="2"]

We here at Brahsome love hot box, video games and top lists.  Our boys at Gamedaily.com combined all three in their Top 25 Hottest Game Babes list.  I’m not a familiar with a lot of this electronic beav because I’m a Nintendo snob.  My mom works for Nintendo, so I only play the games she gets for free.  Yeah, I know, pretty effing brahsome.  She got the job when I was in 7th grade and I’m pretty sure my life peaked at that moment.   SuperNintendo was the current platform when I was in 7th grade and when she took the job they sent a SuperNintendo to my house with a box full of games.  I don’t rock video games as hard as I used to, with that whole work thing, but I still reap the benefits of a Nintendo mom.  I had the Wii a month before it came out and I routinely get games before they come out.  So nigh.  Anywho, back to the list.  I’d personally put Samus Aran a lot closer to numero and this list seems incomplete without Jessica Rabbit.  Now there’s a babe.  Otherwise, good stuff.

You “ladies” and “gentlemen” may remember our very own Boxy Brown, she of Celebrity Hot Box fame. Well, bitches, she’s back. And bringing the celebrity funk. In just a bit we’ll be rolling out an MSMB as well, as part of our Box Party Weekend Spectacular. Got questions for Boxy, Magic Sarah or want to see a certain celeb issue covered on Brahsome? Hit us on the hipnag at blog@brahsome.com

Well I guess one thing will make a girl come out of hiding and for this gal it is having someone pop on the scene and try to rip your style. Let me just dive balls deep into what is going on. Bulleted list appears below as Mrs. Boxy got all classy and shit while away.

1. Please see image to your right. This bothers me for two reasons. First beginning that situation would NEVER happen. She has long hair and not even the tips are damp. I would say it is because her adorable new tittering on C cup is keeping her afloat but her hair is too long to keep it all dry. Second, being just Spencer as a person. How would you like to be in a relationship where not only did the guy suck so bad you lost all friends and almost your job but then you had to think about fucking him. The only option would be clinch your ass let him go straight for it and desperately hope he shoots his load quick. Do not even get me started on those F’ing nightmare nights they go out alone have a couple of drinks which give him limp dick that he thinks is going to produce something. If I was her I would let him pound me until it formed a hole in the wall so I could crawl in it and die.

2. Lohan on/off wagon. Each report different. Here is my report bitches. It is simple. Homegirl has a bigger problem than boozing like all people her age. All you hear is Lohan sipping champagne at New Years when you should be hearing what happened later. Lohan getting her face fucked while listening to Fergies Glamorous. News for you sweet tits – it’s not so glamorous to be throwing up the champ and thick puddy after a couple of hair boys where bouncing off your chin. Kids these days grow up so damn fast.

(Ed. Note: Yeah, I know this picture is unrelated to the news but I’ve got bullet points too, slutbags. 1. Look at her lathering method. So solid. 2. Maybe I don’t watch The Hills, but Heidi seems like the top that might rock the following fashion trend.)
3. The last thing I would like to comment on is not celebrity related. It is dealing with something I had no idea was still in existence until I had the privilege of seeing it recently. What I am referring to is the oh so hot fashion trend of wearing thongs that peek out of your trousers. I thought this had left us long ago but oh no friends some ladies are still to this day rocking the shit out of the look. The reason I want to bring this up is because it absolutely baffles me. First how to you get your look together. Do you put on the thongs, pull on your pants and then give those lace straps a tug up? How do you decide how much length between the lines and the pants? Also how do you look in the mirror and say to yourself damn girl I am bringin it? The look basically tells the opposite or same sex I will let you slap me in my face with your shit ridden slong after you defile me at my mothers house at my 3 year old sisters birthday party during the afternoon. There are no limits with this look. It is either that or it could be all for engineering purposes meaning you have aloud everything up to a small colt to rip into you that you have to do this maneuver just to keep those delicate lips from cause an irritation when rubbing against your knees. I truly do not know but if anyone does know the meaning and reason behind this enlighten your girl.

So I bet you are all excited because Boxy came back last week and wrote you up a little hot box, huh? And now you think that you guys are all BFF and she would come through with another one this week, right? Wrong. Boxy is just like every other woman we know in that she’ll give it up on her time, and on her time only. So, today, Boxy ‘has a headache’ or ‘is tired’ or ‘just doesn’t feel like it.’ Well, damnit, us gentlemen want us some friggin hot box today. So, Stamos is going to take one for the team and supply a hot box to our faithful Brahsome following. It might not be as warm and wet as what Boxy brings to the table, but it should get the job done (sort of like our old friend Pulinia Ronecock does- say it a little slower… now you’ve got it)

So we like it when hot celebrities get nekkid. Especially when it’s celebrities that we actually respect (read: Paris and Brit, please, please start wearing panties. At this point, we’ could pick your snatches out of a line-up). So when we heard this week that Natalie Portman dons a birthday suit in the short film Hotel Chevalier, some things happened. Down there. We love Natalie Portman- but not the way you’re thinking. We want to have sex with her.

It wouldn’t be a hot box if we didn’t mention Lindsey Lohan. We all know she’s been in rehab at Cirque Lodge for the last several weeks. And we all know she loves the cock. However, I think most of us assumed that she’d take a break from her side-gig as resident cum-dumpster at least long enough to remember how to live life without white-bag. But no, she’s already getting plowed, and the guy who’s plowing her is married. Well, was married. To a girl worth $1.5 Billion dollars. But, shockingly, she’s not real interested in giving him any money, especially since now the only thing he can give her back is gonorrhea. See how long it takes you to pick out the guy in this picture who traded half a billion for a night of making sweet, sweet love to a glass of water. Surely it’s not the guy with the tatties and totally sickner headband. Thanks to WWTDD for the pic.

So, most of our readers don’t really care about Bridget Moynahan, or Tom Brady’s baby. And, honestly, neither do we. Except in the event that BStone or Kigh is still looking for a wife 20 years from now- then, that baby would be a gold mine. But, we couldn’t really find another way to get a picture of Giselle (Brady’s ladyfriend du jour) into this Hot Box, and we just really wanted that picture in here. In fact, we were probably better off not even writing this paragraph- I mean, honestly; who of our readers would have questioned a random picture of Giselle Bundchen? That’s what we thought.

And while we’re looking for reasons to put pictures of hot bitches up, let’s not forget Jessica Alba. Remember when we reported that Jessica Alba was single? And it was hot on the heels of her statement that she had no problems with no-strings-attached sex and America rejoiced? Well, she lied to us. She lied to us all. So hard. Word out in LA is she’s been seen back with Cash Warren and they’re going house shopping. Seriously, that dude is d-bag personified. I mean, honestly- that guy must be packing some Lexington Steel type shit. And for those who aren’f familiar, please take this opportunity to google Lexington Steel- especially if you’re at the office. The rest of you can weep as you look at this picture of the hottest girl you’ll never get to sample. Damn you Cash Warren.

Girl, Girl, Girl Boxy is back and can’t get the words out fast enough. Someone out there tell a sister they saw the VMAs. Can I just say two words – Britney. Bitches. I mean who really throws out “insert your own name here – bitches”. That is even higher level than someone telling you that you are pretty and saying “I know”. I want someone to find me a girl with bigger balls than that. Home girl rolls out with a hair piece (which, P.S., who knew hair pieces could get nappy), sequined lingerie and stripper boots. I guess she didn’t have time to run by the fax to get the memo she is about the size of a baby calf. I hope that I at least have 2 or 3 friends out there that if I tried to walk out of the house in that would open hand slap me straight across my face. I am personally asking in this column for any friends that I have reading this article if this situation happens to me look me dead in the eye and say “grow up and stop acting like you work at that rundown whore house on the outskirts of any large city where the parking lot is made for only 18 wheelers.” She knew she was doing this show for a while now, I’m sure, and the way I see it she has two very logical things she could have done:


1) ( Easy) Cover-up. If you have to walk into the sex shop and ask for a sequined bra but request that it has a breast feeding flap that’s a red flag you might should regroup and buy a different outfit.
2) Get some sort of surgery and use the left over fat to make a bear suit. We all saw Tara do it and no it didn’t work out great but at least she gave it the ole college try.

I would not unload on Brit if she’d been honest with me in the beginning. Let’s all think back years and years ago when we saw the birth of Brit, Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, etc. Brit came out with “Hey, I’m just a good ole girl that has never even had anyone see my vagina and I am going to keep it that way until I find that one special boy to call my husband”. Aguilera came out with “Listen, Ladies I am going to let any man with a rod of substantial size jam it in all orifices I have and I will let your mother watch me drink the leftovers.” So my point here is I respect the shit out of Aguilera because she let us know from the beginning she was going to be a hungry raging trash whore from day one and Brit lied to all of us. For this reason I do not feel bad about the way I feel.

Well, well, fucking well. Look who decided to roll out of the [cum] dumpster out back and grace us with her presence this week? We kid, we kid. (Kind of.) Boxy Brown whose been on hiatus do various things including apparent emotional issues (We read somewhere their periods attract bears) and adjusting to a new job (who knew? actual work is harder than handjobs). But we’re glad she’s back, and hope you’ll hit up the jump as Ms. Brown lets her box hang out.
Care To Get Nice?

Well, all celebs’ fav candidate for President Obama (holler at your boy) is backing the idea of teaching kids about sex ed in kindergarten. Well, kids, today is going to be pretty standard. We will do our normal sing-a-long and dance to get the blood flowing, have a 100% natural juicy juice and dunkaroos and then we will teach you how, when you start crying because you pissed all over yourself in your bed, Mommy and Daddy may take a little longer to come get you because Daddy is pulling Mommy around the room like a donkey before he shits on her chest. Next week we will cover what is really happening when you see Mommy’s face attached to Daddy’s Dockers and she is giving him the ‘wrap it up signal’ with her hand. That will be titled “Mommy knows Daddy can find some cheap slut to blow him if she won’t. Great idea possible future Pres. We should decrease the average age of a young girl blossoming into a raging freak whore by at least 3-5 years.

I am sure everyone has seen our girl Brit Brit gearing up for her new video. It has gotten to the point where it is literally sad to even see her. I feel bad for her—I really do. It’s amazing someone can actually have that much money and—let’s face it—potential but still somehow manage to be hands down the biggest trash skank to roam this great land in decades or very possible ever. I don’t know what to do either so please any suggestions are welcomed. How would you feel if your body looked like it was a waste pit of Marlboro Reds and box wine and everything you put on no matter how expensive made you look like you just got plowed by the Girls Gone Wild guy followed by him making you walk back in the blazing sun with one heel broken.

So the new skinny with me is I have started taking roids for the next couple weeks due to an illness. I always thought “roid rage” was sort of a joke but it is not. I have been a crazy emotional bitch for the last week. I actually gave an elderly woman the half flick off, you know the throw your hands up, roll you eyes and shaking your head, driving home from work because she was trying to get into my lane. And I am talking about 85 + year old woman. She was probably already terrified to be getting on the highway she was about to merge on because her Caddy hasn’t been over 41 in the last 30 years and then I have to go and treat her like she is a burden to society for even attempting to go out to meet her pals at the new Shoney’s. It makes me sick to be acting this way but I truly cannot help it. Try not to be creepy and keep it as brahsome as possible friends until next time.

Ed. Note: We know Boxy is busy as shit, so she probably just missed this, but we couldn’t let this weekend go by without at least acknowledging the mangled alien carcass that is posing as Tara Reid’s stomach skin. This, folks, is what it looks like after you get your stomach pumped for the 30th time for consuming a disgustingly large amount of the vodka / soda / semen mixture Miss Reid calls the Saturday Night Stunner.

We thank you all for patiently waiting. Boxy’s back from her sea(men) sickness and ready to dispense with the celebrity bru-ha-ha and whatnot, including most of the regulars and a pregnant Ethiopian. First though, she talks about independence and may or may not delve into some major self-esteem issues after that. And since she quit putting out, we don’t have to throw her a fake “Noooo, you’re not fat” anymore, either.
Care To Get Nice?

First off I would like to say I hope everyone kept it independent yesterday. Also our girl wrote us a sweet little 4th message on myspace. Paris lets us know to just sorta you know play it cool and have a DD while celebrating. Thank doll. Until I read that I was going to get shitcanned, put the top down and take a lot of chances. A true humanitarian that girl.

Nicole Ritchie is supposedly pregnant. That is going to be pretty awkward when the kid comes out of the womb weighing more than mom and we will not even scratch the surface about what this kid is going to do about breast feeding. She would be better of renting an overweight 8 year old boy for the kid to suck teet than the poor thing trying to get a drop out of that cutting board.

Speaking of cutting boards, Lins got take a break from working that razor back and forth across her wrist to, according to perezhilton, “chain smoke…flirt up a storm with the male partygoers” and hang out with Paris and sister Nicky. Seriously, what down-on-her-luck whore won’t these sluts befriend in order to get some publicity? The really effed up thing is that Lohan had her own party…in rehab. What the hell, trig??? Go get your shit clean, give your snatch an effing break for a few weeks and try to figure out what the hell is wrong with your life (hint: too much cocaine and penis).

I also wanted to give a quick insight to Boxy’s new day job status. First I am gaining weight exponentially. I was driving home the other day and could literally feel my second chin dropping. If you have never felt this it is a very weird feeling. The company offers a gym membership. I signed up and currently sitting here at the end of the day thinking of all the reasons I can’t go. There is nothing sadder than realizing you are straight lying to yourself about yourself. I am looking down at my thighs right now going well they don’t look too much bigger than before and then reality hits and I see the arm to my chair is hiding half of my 80 year old tree trunk. The only thing I can be excited about is my titties are growing. Well I guess if this turned into a straight “titty effing only world” I would be just fine. It is time for a change. Anyone out there feeling down on their appearance please ask yourself the following question – “Would I have sex with myself when blackout and be mortified in the morning?”. If the answer is yes I think you know what needs to be done.