Brahsome - Care To Get Nice? » Morning Wood

You might remember this Big Montana, AnnaLynn McCord from Nip/Tuck. She played the crazy bitch that slept with everybody. I guess that doesn’t really narrow it down. Here is something we did back in ‘07 when she became Brahsome’s Botox Beauty of the Week. Hopefully, it will jog your memory. If not, it is probably better off that you didn’t watch Nip/Tuck at that time because it was headed on a huge downward spiral.

This was “get it out of our systems” sex. I enjoy screwing older guys, it’s a daddy thing. And you’re hot for your age, even hotter since you screwed the woman who’s screwing my Mom. But I don’t date guys with gray pubes.
- AnnaLynn McCord’s character in Nip/Tuck

Much like BBOW, Primate of the Month will probably be the only post in the series unless you can find another hot chick who loves deep throating bananas or has monkey like ears. In most of these cases, that chick will be a straight up skeez and unworthy of being Brahsome’s Primate of the Month but still send us a link to the pictures and we will be the judge of how skeezy she is.

Here is a gallery of AnnaLynn deepthroating bananas..

h/t NSFW DrunkenStepfather NSFW

‘Go-Girl’: The Portable Female Urination Device You’ve Been Holding Out For

Brinson — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:35:59 +0000

I think it’s safe to say that the immediate reaction to the “Go-Girl” would best be classified as: “f*cking gross, man.” That’s understandable, considering that the product in question is a portable urination device for women.

Nothing really cool about that. On one hand, as the Piler pointed out, this would be effing fantastic for long road trips with your ladyfriend (certainly better than making her try and use a bottle). On the other, though, I think there’s a reasonable chance that after you read the description of “How to Use” you might change your mind.

Just adjust your clothing, and hold GoGirl gently against your body to form a seal. Aim and urinate. GoGirl’s a snap to use. But we suggest you practice at home a time or two at home, so you’re confident and ready to go, wherever the urge strikes. If there’s leakage, you’re not sealing it against you. Try again. The second time’s a charm.
GoGirl’s economical enough to be considered disposable, but some women choose to use the product again and again. Use the enclosed baggie to dispose of the product after use. Or use it to store GoGirl until you can clean it.

Oh wow! I’d love to meet one of those ladies who is so environmentally conscious that she feels the need not to throw away her portable pee device! Who are these girls? Sadly, they’re all generic stereotypes, such as SkiGirl, GlobalGirl, MommyGirl, and RoadGirl. Ugh.

Still not convinced that this is an absolutely horrible idea? Pick up a freaking three pack online! Seriously, where does the “Go-Girl” fall under in the category of “Things that will make me stand up and walk out of a restaurant if I accidentally see in a date’s purse”? I’m guessing somewhere in between Valtrex (there’s no rational explanation other than “Herpes!”) and a strap-on dildo (at least there’s the possibility that she wants some G-on-G instead of taking you to town.

(via one of Mrs. Mos’ friend who used to live next to me on Cherry Lane but who will remain nameless maybe)

MW: Athletes Like To Plow; Don’t Like Jimmy Hats

The Piler — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 13:00:43 +0000

Condoms are for sailors, or at least that’s what my boy Sam always says. FanIQ.com put together a comprehensive list of professional athletes with illies. There are the usual suspects: Travis Henry- 9 kids by 9 women, Shawn Kemp- 11 kids by 9 women, and Evander Holyfield- 9 kids by unknown mothers. The undisputed king of illies, however, is Calvin Murphy, with an astounding 14 illies by 9 women. Dominique Wilkins is rumored to have, at one point, had to defend 20 paternity suits while playing in the NBA. That was probably just a Western Conference road trip.

The most surprising name on the list is former NBA point guard, and current NBA coach, Scott Skiles, with at least 6 illies. Well, it’s not any more surprising that your average loaded, balding, white guy at the local country club who slays hot box. They left off my personal favorite child support machine, Marcus Melvin. The former NC State forward once proclaimed “I want a quarter of the black population to be related to me by the time I die.” I’m sure he’s well on his way, bouncing around overseas professional leagues, after leaving college with a solid foundation of 3 illies. He also once said “if I wasn’t playing basketball, I’d be out trying to get AIDs,” so there’s that.

In all seriousness, what the eff are these guys doing? I mean I hate condoms as much as the next guy, but I’m pretty sure I could suck it up to save myself literal millions. There’s a reason why I ask if you are pro-choice on the first date, and it’s not because I want to discuss Roe v. Wade. Sure, some these hoes are looking for a huge pay-day, but come on, cap it, before you tap it.

MW: Posters

Stamos — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:54:34 +0000

You’ve seen some of these, no doubt. The faux-motivational posters that have swept our fair nation over the last couple years. And while they are not all gold mines, there’s some good material in there. A collection we’ve amassed after the jump.

MW: Phone In

Stamos — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:35:19 +0000

Hidden camera footage surfaced recently showing Brinson, Brahkowski, Piler, and Stamos when they learned they weren’t selected in the lottery for Phish tickets.

Thanks to Nord Ariel for the tape

Hell In a Bucket

Stamos — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:43:50 +0000

The Grateful Dead |MTV Music

Can anyone explain the duck in this video?
Thanks to Winter Brahk for the submission.

MW: The Return of Terry Tate

The Piler — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:58:30 +0000

Everyone’s favorite office linebacker, Terry Tate, is back. Tate debuted during Super Bowl XXXVII in 2003 and was easily the highlight of the Super Sunday commercial bonanza. His early commercials featured him with decleaters on office workers who didn’t obey office policies. This time he brings a more civic minded message. In the above ad, Tate lets Sarah Palin know that reading is fundamental. His other new “platforms” include voting and Sarah Palin’s foreign policy. The pain train’s comin, WOOOOOH!

MW: World Beer Festival Comes to Durham

The Piler — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:27:42 +0000

All About Beer Magazine is holding the 13th annual World Beer Festival this Saturday, October 4, in Durham, NC at the Durham Bulls Athletic Park. Over 150 breweries with over 300 beers will be present for you to get super nice on. In addition to the plethora of beer, there is a lengthy list of food choices and entertainment. General Admission tickets are $40 and VIP are $75. If i wasn’t already headed to Savannah this weekend, I’d definitely be checking it out. If you do go, play it smart and get a cab or make your sober friend drive you.

MW: Happy Jew Year!!!!

Stamos — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 12:58:09 +0000

For those who don’t know, today is Rosh Hoshannah, the Jewish New Year. As such, Stamos would like to send out a little L’Shana Tova to all his fellow chosen folks who are gracing this blahg today. 5769 years ago today, Jews started. That’s right- we be old school. So while the rest of the Christ and Allah-loving world is dealing with the fallout from the worst single-session point drop of the Dow, my fellow Heebs and I will roll around in our piles of Jew gold and chug Manischewitz. L’Chaim!!! Now, some pictures of attractive Jews.