We are just a little too schizophrenic (and not quite famous enough) to put together a coherent, unified NBA playoff series preview like they do over at Free Darko. But just like everyone else strapped into the crazy ride that is the blogosphere, you know damn well we’ve at least got a slew of opinions waiting for you. Get nice and hit the jump if you want to check out our individual contributor’s picks for the NBA Finals. We’ll still be bringing you Fancypants’ game by game lockjahbs by the way.
Ed. Note – Boxy Brown just got back from the Paris Hilton press conference and has her pick in.
Care To Get Nice?
Boxy Brown
No one ever said Ms. Boxy knows her bball but I do have a prediction. If we were winning on pure personality alone clearly Tim “Mr. Nice Guy” Duncan is the landslide winner but since we do have to factor in actual performance on the court I need to regroup. I would have to say we are going to be looking at a 7 game nail biter that ends in me having to hear my significant other stain my ear until it falls off about how super sickner the King was late in the 4th quarter – again. (Ed. Note – Soooo, Cavs in 7?)
Tank
Spurs in 4:
LeBron will single handedly make these games at least watchable, but the Spurs are simply to strong as a team for The King to beat them by himself like he did against Detroit. Duncan will be a force and will take home finals MVP. If I thought the Cavs had the intangibles edge I may give them a game or two but the fact is the Cavs have already won in their minds. The Cavs and the city of Cleveland have been pulling an “‘86 Mets-like celebration” since their improbable series win over Detroit. Meanwhile it’s been business as usual for Mr. Popovich, Mr. Duncan and the boys. San Antonio in a four game sweep.
Consistantly Wrong
Young vs Experienced. That’s the same reason the Pistons were going to beat them. The Spurs have been there so many times. The Cavs have never. And this is everyone’s logical thinking on why the Spurs will take down the Cavs. Here are some reasons why they won’t:
1. Rebounding – The Spurs have 1 guy (Duncan) that averages over 5.5 rebounds a game. The Cavs have 3 guys that average over 6. The Cavs WILL get MANY more shot attempts in this series than the Spurs.
2. Defense on the MVP’s – No one can guard these guys one on one. But to me, the Cavs have three guys that are different styles of defenders that can somewhat disturb Duncan. Gooden is stronger than Duncan, Igalki is taller, and Varajo is the super spastic guy you hope isn’t on you at the Y pick up games. The Spurs have Bowen. He is a great old defender. Pop will probably let him try and guard LeBron himself. This will be a mistake. He is unguardable solo. The Spurs are not nearly as good as Detroit on help D, b/c they are used to Bowen containing the other teams big threat. This will be exposed.
3. Bench – The Spurs have Big Shot Bob, one of those Barry’s, some guy named Oberto, and Vaughn. The Cavs have Vareja, a red hot Gibson, Donny Basketball, and veteran Eric Snow. This looks like a pretty big advantage for the Cavs. Two things I’m thinking. Has Horry ever missed a game winner? And I keep having a dream sequence of a post game interview where Donny Basketball has redeemed himself and made a game winner, and the whole media slurps Lebron for “sticking with his teammates.” Does no one else see this coming??
AGE 21: Leading money winner on the PGA Tour with a record $2,066,833 in earnings. Wins first major championship, The Masters, by an amazing 12 strokes, the widest margin of victory the tournament has ever seen. Becomes youngest Masters winner ever, and the first of African or Asian descent. Wins three other PGA events. Achieves No. 1 world ranking in his 42nd week as a pro. Voted PGA Player of the Year and Associated Press Male Athlete of the Year
Oh yeah, Lebron is a much older 22.
5. The refs. Have you all forgotten about Duncan and the refs. That’s was exactly the ref’s plan. They got you. What would the Spurs do if Duncan ever got in foul trouble?
Prediction – Cavs in 7
Thepiler
The Cavs shot their load in the Eastern Conference finals, celebrating like they’d won it all. Mike Brown’s specialty is defense, but his mentor, Popovich, just does it a little better. Bron-Bron will get his, but Bruce Bowen will make him work for it and tire him out. The Spurs have too much depth and finals experience. The Cavs will be back one day, but the Spurs take this one in 5 as Duncan passes Shaq for Finals MVPs.
Kigh
Spurs in 6: Riding high off their win over DTown, the Cavs will come in hot. Boobie’s coming out party will give the Spurs more to think about than just BronBron…the Spurs’ run has to come to an end sometime, right? Not this year. Too many weapons. The Cavs are good, but the Spurs are better.
Finals MVP: Timmay!
Stamos
Hi. My name is Stamos, and I’ll be that guy taking the Cavs in 6. The Spurs are the more talented team, and should win it. And people will draw comparisons to LeBron and MJ and say that MJ didn’t win in his first trip. But, I’m here to tell you that King James is better at his age than MJ was at the same point. Quite a bit better. And if the refs don’t let Bowen get physical in the first game, LeBron will destroy him as Bowen has trouble with guys who are both quick and fast. If they throw Horry at LeBron, he’s no match, being more suited to play the 38 year old sharp-shooter role. I say LeBron goes for over 30 every game, and Big Z lights up Duncan in game 6 as the Cavs shock the world. Long live the King.
Fancypants
Spurs in 5, Cleveland’s only win comes at home. Finals MVP: Oberto (someone’s got to pick somebody other than Duncan, right?). I’ll be doing analysis game by game.
Bstone
I’ll admit that the majority of my choices (in life and predicated outcomes of sporting events) are emotionally hinged, rather than objectively taking a situation and deciding, “regardless of what could happen, this is the logical most easily predicated outcome”; the example here of course being that there is absolutely no possible logical manner in which the overmatched Cavs should defeat the clearly superior San Antonio Spurs. Right? Right???
So weighing on me now I have to pick: what matters more to me, LeBron’s post game behavior in the Eastern Finals or his newly leaked commercial? I think I’m going commercial. Yes, the entire LeBrons seemed waaaaaaaaay too happy after winning the East, which is always a scary thing when you face a group of cold blooded killers like San Antonio. However. “I Shall Be Released” changes all of that. This is LeBron’s time–he is ready to win, he’s shown the ability to step up and dominate big games and plus, David Stern needs him to win. So it’s going to happen.
Bruce Bowen will guard him and despite being a dirty f***er, he’s getting older. And we’re not talking about a Nash type player (no disrespect, eh) here–LeBron is a physical freak of nature. Simply reference the easy manner in which he powered past five Pistons at a time to hammer dunks in the previous series. Anywho, without getting all into the specific matchups (Parker’s horrid defense will let “Boobie” go nuts during the Finals), I’m taking the Cavs in seven. It won’t be a high scoring affair that kick revolutionizes a new style, but watching Bron become the complete and dominant player that two or three months ago we all questioned will change the face of the NBA forever. Witness.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Where’s boxy?
good detail consistantly wrong, but I think you are leaving out “Coaching,” which is a major category in a series. Popovich is know for making adjustments and being a great coach while no one would be surprised if Mikey called multiple timeouts before the game.
But thank god for all the Cavs people out there for keeping these lines low. Amazing how one game can change perception from “This guy really might not be able to win the big one” to “The King is here and his time as now. Who is Michael Jordan.?
nice fancypants. I think I’ll move that line down a little more for you with the amount I put on the Cavs.
“One game”. The Cavs should have swept the Pistons, Pants.
right, but that talk started after game 5.
Looks like Consistently is living up to his name.
-As Fancy hit on, coaching is a big factor here. The experience factor will be as prevalent with the coaches as it is with the players. Flip Saunders is an absolute joke. Mike Brown won’t have such a luxury against Popovich.
-The Cavs may get more rebounds, but the Spurs will be more efficient. The Spurs are shooting a higher percentage from the floor and from three in the playoffs.
-As far as defense, it’s a joke to say the Pistons’ help D is better than the Spurs. The Spurs probably have the best help D in the league. On top of that, they have a legitimate shot blocking presence in the middle, where Detroit had none. Also, the Cavs don’t have anyone quick enough to guard Tony Parker. He will run circles around Hughes, Boobie, and Pavlaprabs.
On the bench, you’re forgetting a little someone named Ginobli. He gets starters but minutes, but comes off the bench. The “starter,” Finley, isn’t too shabby himself. And would you really bet against Big Shot Bob?
Biggest man crush ever. I hear Duncan and God are scheduled for a one on one after the final. Who you got Piler? Too bad you Celtics really blew that draft.
No denying my man crush, but I think you know a thing or two about those. Your’s just involve thugs who choke people and beat their wives.
So what you’re saying is Tim Duncan is overrated?
Fancy-
If the Spurs cover tonight I may ride you….hard…until the playoffs are over.
Saddle up Deez. It beats working at the banana stand.
There would be +1’s flying everywhere if this was Deadspin.