Vick Getting Sued Again?

In some of the strangest news we’ve heard coming out of the Michael Vick case (and that is seriously saying something!), it turns out that South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches is attempting to sue Mr. Mexico to the tune of $63,000,000.00. That’s right. Sixty-three billion dollars.

Mr. Riches is, as our tipster and on-spot-pro-bono legal analyst Cush points out, “no rookie in the litigation game…” having brought suit against literally hundreds of parties in 2006, “including George Bush, Tony Danza, the Magna Carta, Yao Ming, the Eiffel Tower, Plato, and Skittles Candy.” Mr. Riches hand wrote the complaint (which you can view here) against Vick.

According to Fox News:

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

The convict, serving a sentence for wire fraud, wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver” delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Of course, he also wants Michael Vick “to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes”.

Well, Mr. Riches, you’re probably not going to win this one (call us crazy) but don’t you dare stop suing the pants off of people, unless its us–we don’t like being sued. What we do like, though, is reading stuff like this, from Mr. Riches’ July 2007 complaint against the Jewish Mossad, the CIA and Larry King Live, where he sues them collectively for $ 211,429,399,000,000.00:

Defendants are in a vast conspiracy to hijack my torso, three toes, and my constitutional rights and ship them to secret headquarters in Concord, New Hampshire.

You better upgrade that lawyer Ronnie. Mr. Riches doesn’t do settlements.