So I bet you are all excited because Boxy came back last week and wrote you up a little hot box, huh? And now you think that you guys are all BFF and she would come through with another one this week, right? Wrong. Boxy is just like every other woman we know in that she’ll give it up on her time, and on her time only. So, today, Boxy ‘has a headache’ or ‘is tired’ or ‘just doesn’t feel like it.’ Well, damnit, us gentlemen want us some friggin hot box today. So, Stamos is going to take one for the team and supply a hot box to our faithful Brahsome following. It might not be as warm and wet as what Boxy brings to the table, but it should get the job done (sort of like our old friend Pulinia Ronecock does- say it a little slower… now you’ve got it)

So we like it when hot celebrities get nekkid. Especially when it’s celebrities that we actually respect (read: Paris and Brit, please, please start wearing panties. At this point, we’ could pick your snatches out of a line-up). So when we heard this week that Natalie Portman dons a birthday suit in the short film Hotel Chevalier, some things happened. Down there. We love Natalie Portman- but not the way you’re thinking. We want to have sex with her.

It wouldn’t be a hot box if we didn’t mention Lindsey Lohan. We all know she’s been in rehab at Cirque Lodge for the last several weeks. And we all know she loves the cock. However, I think most of us assumed that she’d take a break from her side-gig as resident cum-dumpster at least long enough to remember how to live life without white-bag. But no, she’s already getting plowed, and the guy who’s plowing her is married. Well, was married. To a girl worth $1.5 Billion dollars. But, shockingly, she’s not real interested in giving him any money, especially since now the only thing he can give her back is gonorrhea. See how long it takes you to pick out the guy in this picture who traded half a billion for a night of making sweet, sweet love to a glass of water. Surely it’s not the guy with the tatties and totally sickner headband. Thanks to WWTDD for the pic.

So, most of our readers don’t really care about Bridget Moynahan, or Tom Brady’s baby. And, honestly, neither do we. Except in the event that BStone or Kigh is still looking for a wife 20 years from now- then, that baby would be a gold mine. But, we couldn’t really find another way to get a picture of Giselle (Brady’s ladyfriend du jour) into this Hot Box, and we just really wanted that picture in here. In fact, we were probably better off not even writing this paragraph- I mean, honestly; who of our readers would have questioned a random picture of Giselle Bundchen? That’s what we thought.

And while we’re looking for reasons to put pictures of hot bitches up, let’s not forget Jessica Alba. Remember when we reported that Jessica Alba was single? And it was hot on the heels of her statement that she had no problems with no-strings-attached sex and America rejoiced? Well, she lied to us. She lied to us all. So hard. Word out in LA is she’s been seen back with Cash Warren and they’re going house shopping. Seriously, that dude is d-bag personified. I mean, honestly- that guy must be packing some Lexington Steel type shit. And for those who aren’f familiar, please take this opportunity to google Lexington Steel- especially if you’re at the office. The rest of you can weep as you look at this picture of the hottest girl you’ll never get to sample. Damn you Cash Warren.