These Go To 11: Baldwin Movies

Every Tuesday night on the Brown Hour the brahs bring with them a Top 5 list of whatever the topic of the week might be, we then combine those lists to a Top 11 list which is posted on Wednesday morning. This week’s list is the Top 11 movies containing any of the brothers Baldwin.

I know what you’re thinking. How is it possible to whittle down an entire catalogue of incredible performances by a family of thespians into a simple list of 11. Believe you me, twas not an easy task. I lost sleep over it, fought with my lady-friend, kicked my dog, and reassessed my worldview. But here it is.

Ed. Note: Stamos attempted to include Team America, because there is a puppet in the likeness of Alec Baldwin, but because no Baldwin actually participated in the production of the movie it was DQ’d and he was asked to bring a replacement.

Ed. Note II: The Piler is extremely wanting in his familiarity of the works of the brothers Baldwin, so he was only able to bring four items to the table. One of which is the television show Dirty, Sexy, Money…while not a movie, it will be allowed.

11. Dirty, Sexy, Money. (Um. Yeah.)

10. Half Baked (Stevie was in this, but not included in the clip.)

09. Beetlejuice. (The nine spot seems a little low for one of A. Baldwin’s great works.)

08. Hunt for Red October (featuring A. Baldwin and Presidential candidate F. Thompson)

07. Backdraft (Billy as a fireman was so dreamy…)

06. Trees Lounge (Daniel Baldwin chases down S. Buscemi with a baseball bat. It’s awesome. But not on Youtube.)

05. Outside Providence (Great film. Drugs Delaney was as a true American hero.)

04. Royal Tenenbaums (Narrated by A. Baldwin…the only voice with enough gravitas to do the job.)

03. Glengarry Glenn Ross (A. Baldwin only shows up for about 7 minutes. But it’s epic. “ABC. Alway. Be. Closing.”

02. The Departed (A. Baldwin as a Bahston police officer. “Whataya onea those fitness freaks? Gofuckyaself.”

01. Usual Suspects. (Amazing that Stevie gets the #1 spot, but this movie is just too bad ass.)

Yes, there were many great Baldwin performances left off of this list. We know. But providing a list of Honorable Mentions would take too much time and bandwidth.