How to handle the ladies at Mardi Gras.
Well, brahs, it seems my plan to KFed* Jessica Alba has been ruined by pretty boy Cash Warren. Warren, who met Alba while she was on the set of Oscar-snubbed The Fantastic Four, has impregnated the once future ex-Mrs. Calmer Than You Are.
And, of course, we wouldn’t feel right as fans of her previously untainted (just go with it man) body if we didn’t work up a mammoth tribute slideshow to Ms. Alba.
* To marry and knock up a woman far wealthier and more successful than you for the sole purpose of cashing monthly child support payments for the next 18 years.
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Damn..with a first name like Cash, he definitely doesn’t deserve to impregnate what might have been the perfect female(or the closest thing to it)..here’s hoping someone slips a little heady “pre-fermented” or dehydrated Jenkem in his next milkshake, etc…
The perfect Ass, no one is better. I’ve never seen a picture as perfect as that. Could pound that for weeks.
Hopefully for Christmas, Cash Warren got herpes.
It really is the perfect ass. And wouldn’t herpes be bad? Because that would mean that our girl would be busted too.
I was hoping he’d get herpes, she’d leave him for cheating, and then realize she didn’t want to be carrying his seed and ‘fix the problem.’ Hence, she’d be back to being the perfect girl.
That’s the most aggressive use of “fix the problem” I’ve ever heard. In a totally great way of course.
So either you are
a) a horribly shallow person that has no real concept of what a women’s body is capable of
b) sincerely jealous that the child isn’t your’s
OR
c) painfully ignorant
If your comment is to me (the original author) then I can say without hesitation that I am
d) all of the above
Thanks for reading!
If it was directed at me (the guy hoping she ‘fixes the problem’) then I can confirm that I am only
a) a horribly shallow person that has no real concept of what a woman’s body is capable of.
I definitely don’t want to be having Cash Warren’s baby, and I’m ignorant, but it’s not really all that painful.