Morning Wood: Peanut Butter

I back it, people. I’m serious. I love it. It always tastes good, no matter what time of day. I’m never disappointed to find out that peanut butter is involved. Never will the words, “Oh man, is that peanut butter? No thanks,” come out of my mouth.

It’s so versatile. Peanut butter on apples. Peanut butter on celery. With raisins (ants on a log). Peanut butter and crackers (graham or otherwise). I hear peanut butter and bananas go well together, (Elvis loved them on his PBJs) but I loathe bananas, so I’ll take your word for it. Peanut butter sammies. With Honey. With jelly. Fried peanut butter and jelly sammies. My lady introduced me to peanut butter sammies with marsh mellow cream. Or fluffernutter, as they’re called. Or just peanut butter. Alone. On my finger. Or a spoon if I’m trying to get nice on the jar for a while.

I assume every kid grows up loving peanut butter. I remember in school learning that George Washington Carver invented peanut butter, but apparently that’s not the case at all. Another lie forced on me by the man, I guess.

The truth is peanut butter had been around long before Dr. Carver got his hands on it. That link you didn’t click on says it can be traced back hundreds of years in Africa and China. Which is awesome. I wonder if Ghengis Kahn backed peanut butter. He backed the shit out of Twinkies.

The link you didn’t click also informed me that Krema Nut Company is the oldest peanut butter producer in the country. According to them Krema started selling peanut butter in 1908, but according to Krema, they started in 1898. Why the discrepancy? Did Peanutbutterlovers.com not do their homework? Is Krema trying to squeeze in a few years from the nineteenth century just to look cool? That’s kind of weird.

If I had the option I would probably buy Krema, but my grocery store doesn’t get down Krema style. So I roll with Jif. Fuck Peter Pan. The peanut butter, not the flying, pirate-fighting boy. He was awesome.

I roll crunchy…but that’s only in the past 10 years or so. Growing up it was creamy all the way.

The beautiful women featured above have nothing to do with my treatise on peanut butter. They just looks way better than a random picture of a jar of peanut butter.

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” A. Einstein

Mucho take it easy.

Tagged as: Elvis, Marissa Miller, peanut butter