dicktowelleaderboard

Sterling Sharpe is Straight Ballin’

by Brinson on December 21, 2007

sterling-sharpes-blackberry.jpgHe is right? Well, either that, or he’s tacky as hell. Kind of like Hines Ward and his football leather Steelers’ hat. (Okay we kind of like the hat, we’re just bitter about no touchdowns for fantasy purposes.) Seriously though, since Hines is a former Georgia Bulldog, Sterling decided to bust out his Blackberry/PDA cover last night during the postgame, because it says “Cocks”. And has a South Carolina logo. And is covered in m*therf*cking diamonds and other assorted jewels. Or, possibly, he’s just really tacky. Which is just straight up GD embarrassing, since he has many millions of dollars. Especially given that one less “S” on that thing and it looks like a set of semen-stained panties that Paris Hilton wouldn’t bother wearing. If you’re going to coat your large and expensive phone in a really glittery and shiny tribute to your alma mater, and you have a shitload of money, well, that cover should be diamonds. Because covering anything in diamonds is, as you may know, the most ballin’ shit you can do. That’s why we sprinkle diamonds on all our food. Well, that and it makes our dookie sparkle.

{ 1 trackback }

End Of The Week Linkage
December 21, 2007 at 7:10 pm

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Crissie December 22, 2007 at 3:46 am

You shoulda seen that “glitter suit” monstrosity he had on last Saturday on the NFL Network. Only his voice was louder.

It’s ironic that Sterling actually grew up in Georgia. I heard he didn’t go to Georgia because Vince Dooley only wanted him as a defensive back – Vince told him that he would never make it as a wide receiver at a top Div-1 program.

He would’ve turned out just as tacky if he had gone to Georgia, though.

Jambaroo December 22, 2007 at 8:49 am

I would have slapped that faggoty looking hat off of Hines Ward’s head with the business end of a bottle of 1800. What a fag… no wonder the shitsburgh squealers are fading down the stretch faster than Kordell Stewart could run down the prison block with a wheelbarrow full off buttholes.

BocaMorty December 23, 2007 at 12:30 am

That shit is dope! I seen Sterling Sharpe’s phone on http://www.LetsCrystalIt.com. They Ice out all phones with custom designs and Sports Logos. They actually do great work! Check em out.

Leave a Comment

Previous post: Aural Sex 12/22

Next post: Morning Wood: Heavy D Slings the Rock