Monkeys Are Who-ooo-ooo-ah-ah-ah-res

Have you ever found yourself buttoning your shirt after dogpiling a possibly underage Vietnamese girl behind a parked 1992 Ford Festiva in western Atlantic City and you were looking for what might be a good excuse for your wife / lady friend if / when she found out?  Yeah, neither have we.  But if we had, we’d never have had as good an excuse as we do now.  “It’s evolutionary, baby.”  A study in Indonesia revealed that long-tailed macaques (cool looking monkeys) barter their way into extra steez.  While we humans tend to rely on making it rain Benjamins, these primates smooth talked their way into some afternoon delight simply by getting their groom on.  Damn- if only we could pull more box by offering to brush a girl’s hair.  But alas, we’re still likely to have to cough up a couple hunge for an hour with Shauntelle or, better yet, a couple thou as a down payment on box for the rest of your life.