In case you didn’t know, American Idol hits the airwaves again tonight. But Stamos won’t be one of the 50 million people watching. Know why? Because I’m over American Idol. You want to see some fat chick embarrass herself when she’s decided, after hundreds of concerts in the bathtub, that she’s got what America wants, and belts out a disgusting rendition of Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you.”? Well, so do I. But I can do that over a bourbon and coke down at Cody’s, our local chinese bistro / karaoke bar (Cody, if you read this, hook a brother up with some free General Tsao’s chicken, brah). Remember back to the first American Idol when Kelly Clarkson edged out Justin Guarini? Good- neither do I. Let’s look back at what I do remember from American Idol.
So, there aren’t many people / events I remember from American Idol because a) I’ve got a terrible memory, thanks to my extracurricular collegiate life, and b) why the fuck would I clog my brain with tidbits of trivial info from American Idol when I can just as easily remember things like the name of the boy Lisa Simpson had a crush on who was very quiet and liked puzzles (Langdon Alger) or the first thing Quagmire admitted to doing after the fast forward when the 4 main men on Family Guy were playing ‘I never’ (gave a reach around to a spider monkey while reciting the pledge of allegiance.) But, here’s a few I do remember.
1. William Hung- She bangs.
2. Bo Bice- I’m not sure what it was about this guy, but for some reason, I couldn’t seem to stop saying that he was ‘a rocker, through and through’, an obvious reference to Joe Dirte.
3. Kelly Pickler- From NC, roller-skating waitress, and she would definitely get it.
4. Taylor Hicks- Most folks I know didn’t like this guy, but I saw his tryout, and I backed his Ray Charles-esque routine
5. Carrie Underwood- I don’t care what anyone says- she’s fuego.
Anywho, if anything worthwhile happens on the season premiere tonight, let us know, because we’ll be watching the State / Clemson game blowout.
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Nice punctuation, Bobby Brown. And where the fuck is the Fantasia reference? Oh right. She dogged Low Dot and I had her axed.
A calling out of punctuation coming from you means alot, Brinson.
Fantasia can’t wead. (and yes the ‘w’ was intentional) A typical side-effect of being raised in HP… Pickler is, by far, the hottest.
I just felt like calling you Bobby Brown is what it really boils down to. And you beat the shit out of Whitney Houston’s song name, so I figured it was at least mildly appropriate, if completely unfunny.
Is the song not named “I will always love you”?
the food at cody’s is terrible. im surprised they’re still open.