If you’re reading Brahsome.com, and you live in one of the 24 states that is holding it’s primary today, get your America on and vote. Are you ready for a black guy in the white house? Maybe you’d like a woman sitting behind the desk in the oval office? Perhaps you prefer a codgety old white guy (we haven’t had one of those in the office recently… wait, would you say that Dick Cheney is codgety?) Either way, we if it were up to us, we’re sure we could put together a better government than a billion random Americans will. Don’t believe us- jump down to see who’d be leading Brahmerica.
President: Bobby Knight. He’s not doing anything else, and he’d get this country in order quick.
Vice President: Alec Baldwin. He’s so versatile that he can be whatever President Knight needs him to be. Need a motivator? He’ll be Blake from Glengarry Glen Ross. Need a leader? Meet George Ellerby of The Departed fame. Need a random poker-playing, gay-hating Bahstan father figure? You’ve got Old Man Dunphy. In fact, half the country would probably be hoping Knight was assassinated because Baldwin is just so beloved.
Secretary of State: Ben Stein. He’s cool, and we’d probably want to involve someone who’s worked in brahlitics before, just so we’re not too far behind the proverbial8-ball.
Secretary of the Treasury: George Foreman. Guy fought until he was 60 so he’d have enough money to live, and then spent it all so he had to invent a grill, which made him $100,000,000. Talk about resourceful, and what a great work ethic. Plus, everyone in the cabinet would lose weight.
Secretary of Defense: Jack Bauer. Yeah, he’s not real, but if we threw Keifer into this role, and just instructed him to talk really soft, it’s pretty likely he’d protect the entire country. Well, as long as the terrorists didn’t find out he’s only 5′4.
Attorney General: The Piler. You didn’t think we were going to form a government and not get one of our own involved, did you? And this isn’t just The Piler… it’s The Piler, Esquire. Nice.
Secretary of Agriculture: Snoop Dogg: Let’s not kid ourselves- Snoop knows how to make shit grow. Then again, so does Jenna Jameson. But we like Snoop better.
Secretary of Veteran’s Affairs: Walter Sobchak. He understands that like so many young men of his generation, Donny died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so did Donny. Donny who loved bowling.
Secretary of Interior, Commerce, Labor, Health and Human Services, Housing and Urban Development, Transportation, Energy, Education, and Homeland Security: Chuck Norris. Who the fuck else could pull all that off?
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Thanks for nod, brah.
I just want you to know that I think you did a terrific job on this websight.