Morning Wood: Top 99 Most Desirable Women

by The Piler on February 13, 2008

pinder1.jpgAskMen.com released their 2008 version of the top 99 most desirable women and it’s a nice collection of skin ladies.  As with any top list, however, there is going to be some disagreement.   The list was voted on and compiled by AskMen readers and staff and the criteria included intelligence, humor, charisma and ambition.  Right guys, you really voted on these chicks because they’re funny.

The first thing that jumped out at me was the inexplicable inclusion on Lindsay Lohan.  What, exactly, about her is desirable, other than her coming through with a bag of blow when you run out at late-night?  She took quite a tumble from the spot 50 spot on last years list, but it’s still baffling how she snuck on this years list.  Conspicuous by her absence was Charlize Theron, who checked in at 24 on the ‘07 list.  I mean come on, you’re meaning to tell me Charlize Theron became less desirable than Lindsay “beef-curtains” Lohan over the course of the last year?  Theron actually has some cred with an Oscar under her belt, in addition to being smoking hot.  Lohan, on the otherhand, is nothing more than a catcher’s mitt at this point.  I don’t know who Olivia Munn is at 83, but she looks cross-eyed to me.  In another astonishing free fall, Maria Sharapova tumbled from 49 in 07 to 74 this year.  What’s not to love about this Russian bombshell?  She’s a blond beauty, who makes bank winning majors in tennis.  Clearly she would need and be able to afford to join the country club, enabling you to play small ball when she’s not playing with your small balls.  That’s what I call desirable.  Lucy Pinder at 69 seems a bit low, unless that represents her specialty.  With purportedly real taters like that, it doesn’t really matter if your nose is on your chin.  Kate Moss at 58.  Moss is so ‘97.  I mean how desirable can you be when you popularized a look called “heroin chic”?  Some people might think Angelina Jolie at 35 is a little low, but I say that bitch is played.  And who really wants to have to worry about adopting a malnourished kid every time you go vacation?  Kim Kardashian at 28- when I think of a desirable woman, I don’t think video of her getting nailed by some dood named Ray-Jay all over the internets.   

And the ever important top 10:

10. Adriana Lima- can’t say that I’ve heard of her, but she’s considered a perfect 10 Victoria’s Secret model; she’ll do.

9. Marissa Miller- needs no introduction around here and well deservedly in the top 10.

8. Rihanna- Can’t say she would have been in my top 10, but she’s hot and has a cool sounding voice.

7. Jessica Biel- could have had her higher.

6. Scarlett Johanson- got a different look about her and it’s fuegs.

5. Jessica Alba- Brahsome favorite; would be our personal number one except for the whole Cash Warren demon spawn growing inside her thing.

4. Eva Mendes- eehhh.

3.  Kate Beckinsale-  Can’t really back a brit being this high.

2. Alessandra Ambrosio-  I think that means “banging” in Portuguese.

1. Katherine Heigl- This is a real head scratcher.  Sure, she’s gotten you through a couple of  of Gray’s Anatomy with your lady friend without killing yourself, but hardly the most desirable women out there.  I’d put her somewhere ahead of Lohan and behind the chick working in the store where I bought my sister’s birthday present today.

 Let us know your thoughts on the list in the comments.

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