Morning Wood: What Would You Do To Get Paid?

I was reading where Robert Plant turned down 100 million pounds to do a Led Zeppelin tour, that’s nearly 200 large in American Greenbacks for you less cultured brahs, and it got me thinking.  There’s not a whole lot I wouldn’t do for $200 million.  Granted, my financial condition probably isn’t quite Robert Plants’, well, until I sell my stake in Brahsome that is.  I mean think about it.  Unless you you are a total moron, you are set to live like a king the rest of your days.  And I guess if you’re into weird shit like helping others, you could do a lot of that too.  Let’s skip all the petty Fear Factor stuff, like eating gross things.  If it doesn’t kill or seriously paralyze me, I’m doing it.  Lose a finger?  I’ll cut it myself.  Lose a hand?  That’s a little tougher question, but I started “switch-hitting” in 7th grade, so I think I’m good.  Never see or talk to a friend again?  It’s been real Stamos.  Never see or talk to any of your friends again?  I would miss them so much heard there are brahsome people to hang out with in Honolulu, Aspen, Paris and Florence.  You know, the cities where I would own homes.  Kill another human?  Do I get to pick who it is?  On to the real tough choices.  Never watching the Pack play again?  I’m pretty sure my life would be a lot easier that way.  The one that’s probably on your mind: sucking cock.  There’s not really a less brahsome thing a dood can do.  Fuck it, I’d do it.  You’re calling me gay?  Oh really?  In that case, I just bought you and sold you to African diamond miners and will now embark on my supermodel banging tour.  Jeff Garcia overcame the gay label this way, I can too.  Woah, that brings up one I’d have to seriously think about:  giving up box for the rest of your life.  I mean what’s the point of having all that bank if you can’t nail bitches out of your league?  I think I finally found it.  All that fun I’d have would seem so shallow and empty without two playmates at my beck and call at all times.  So brahs,  what wouldn’t you do for 200 million G. Washington’s?

Tagged as: 100 million pounds, Led Zeppelin, reunion tour, Robert Plant