An intern down in our “WTF?!” department just brought this to me, so I thought I would share it with you.
A woman in Ness City, Kansas sat on her boyfriends’s toilet for two years. Apparently he notified the authorities today after he discovered she had become stuck to the toilet seat.
According to Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple, the woman was not stuck to the toilet seat by an adhesive, but rather her body fat had grown attached to the seat. “She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” said the sheriff.
What I have a hard time imagining, Sherif Whipple, is how this dude continued to date a woman who spent the last two years sitting on his freakin’ toilet. How the hell do you consider this hussy your girlfriend if she’s been posted up on the john for the last 24 months? No sex? No meals cooked? No weekend out with the boys while the ladyfriend is visiting her mother? Just her sitting there, day in and day out. And what if he had to use the toilet?
The article says he brought her food and water every day, so it sounds to me like this poor dude had himself a potty trained house pet, more than a girlfriend. Sounds pretty awesome. And by ‘pretty awesome,’ I mean ‘fucking nightmare.’
I hope she had one of those really soft seats like my grandparents used to have. Those things are awesome. Why don’t I have one right now? What’s the deal with the hard plastic? That’s bullshit. I’m going to get one of those soft guys tonight.
As for the toilet seat, “We pried the toilet seat off with a prybar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”
Ooof.
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Maybe she specialized in giving hummers while sitting down?
And I recall those soft seats well from my Grandmother’s house…they are so money.
most egregious pile ever?
The throne in my new office has a built-in bidet…it’s life changing.
MH
http://steady-burn.blogspot.com/
Was’nt Mr. Whipple the guy that sold Charmin toilet paper, so now he is the” stuck on the toilet and can’t get up” sheriff.
That biatch must have been a large bucket o’ lard that was poured down a toilet and never scooped out, except a crowbar two years later. I agree with Sherrif Whipple “What I have a hard time imagining, Sherif Whipple, is how this dude continued to date a woman who spent the last two years sitting on his freakin’ toilet.”