AC Milan striker Ronaldo is basically living the dream. He is widely considered one of the best in the world at his craft. He has won two World Cup titles with Brazil, meaning he’s a legend in his country. It also means he’s probably slept with every hot female in Brazil…and Europe…and just about any female south of the American border. Truth be told, he could probably sleep with most American women, too, even though they have never heard of him. It’s called “charisma.”

Unfortunately Ronaldo is no spring chicken. Like many pro athletes over the age of 30, the footballer had to go under the knife and is currently recovering from knee surgery. Unlike many pro athletes, Ronaldo gets to do his rehab in one of the world’s most famous hot spots, Rio de Janeiro.

Late Monday night our boy went out looking for some strange. And boy did he find some strange.

According to reports, the hotties he took back to his hotel ended up being transvestites. OOOOF.

Ronaldo claims the men tried to extort him for about thirty large to keep the story out of the press.

However, Ronaldo is then said to have tried to get out of the situation after one of the men went in search of drugs.

Two of them accepted pay-offs of 1,000 reais (US 600), but Ronaldo has claimed that the third, named as Andreia Albertini, demanded 50,000 reais (US 30,000) and threatened to post a video on the internet if he was not paid.

Being an international cocksmith, Ronaldo must have just assumed his reputation could take the hit and called in Johnny Law to take care of the ladyboys.

Stamos and I had a similar situation in New Orleans. Except it was at a bar. And they were hitting on us. And instead of extortion, I think they just wanted my wallet. And instead of calling in Johnny Law we slid out the back door. Not that back door you freakin’ sickos.

Picture from Fox Sports

Props to Lacone for the link.