Don’t Haze Me, Bro

Is there anything more pathetic than a frat that doesn’t haze? I mean what could possibly bond you to your brother more than slugging Shlitz for not knowing the founding fathers while doing bows and toes on a basement floor followed up by pounding a gallon of milk while forming a pyramid in your boxers? Not that we would know anything about that. Well the Sig Eps up in Madison like to kick it up a notch. They were seen dumping buckets full of unidentyfied substances on pledges heads. And by ‘unidentyfied substances’ we meant ‘piss, shit, and vomit.’ One eye witness said the bucket contained a “slurry of vomit (and) urine with large brown chunks that could have been feces” and was dumped on three members’ heads. Ahh, good times. But wait, is Sig Ep a hazing fraternity? “We are a non-hazing fraternity — Sigma Phi Epsilon doesn’t haze. We have a very proud system that makes them feel like they are not being hazed,” said fraternity president Mike Miesen. Yeah, I don’t see how these kids getting a utah-slurry dumped on their head would feel like they’re being hazed. I mean, that’s basically just a run-of-the-mill Saturday night as far as we remember. It’s a night like that when you really seperate the men from the boys. Can you or can you not pull box when you’re covered in a motley mix of human excrements? Well, can you?

Tagged as: Sig Ep, Sigma Phi Epsilon, Wisconsin