The hits just keep on coming for Cedric Benson. In the past two months El Ced has been charged with three different alcohol related offences: Boating While Black*, resisting arrest, and Driving While Intoxicated. Oh, and he was cut by the Bears, too. Nice fucking work, guy.

Today a judge ordered him to pimp his ride by having an ignition interlock breathalyzer installed on his vehicle within 72 hours.

I’ve said many times on this here blahg that I don’t understand why rich actors/atheletes/celebs get DWIs. If you’re rich, PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO DRIVE YOUR DOPE ASS RIDE AND YOU CAN SIT IN THE BACK AND GET NICE. It seems so simple. With this sicky new device on his ignition, Ced can either roll around town sober or finally smarten up and pay one of those free-loading brahs in his entourage to take the wheel.

I’m using a picture of him at Texas because that’s when life was going well for my boy. He was puffin’ tough on some local indo, bangin’ hot chicks, gaining over 1,000 yds in each of his 4 seasons… things were looking pretty, pretty, pretty good. Then he got drafted, held out for more ducats, turned the entire Chicago franchise against him, earned about 2.3 yds a game, and developed a bit of a taste for the alcohol. Nada too good.

Here’s to turning it all around this fall … wherever it is that you eventually suit up.

Cheers.

*might not be the official charge…but “black” has more than one meaning on our blahg.