Russell Simmons, master of lyrical poetry for the hard to hear, just wrapped up the custody portion of his divorce with his wife. And he got his m*therf*cking balls kicked in.

Simmons gets daughters, Ming, 8, and Aoki, 5, once every eight weeks and occasionally more during the summer. But wait! There’s more!

In addition, he pays $20,000 per child per month in child support. That cash flow stops when each reaches the age of 19 1/2, or until the daughter is emancipated, married, becomes self-supporting, joins the armed forces or stops living with Kimora Lee Simmons.

Finally, he’s required to buy or lease a car valued at $60,000 or more for the girls once every 24 months.

The worst part is that his wife, Kimora, is already “kind of engaged” to someone else. Who is an actor. Our best guess? Not a poor actor. Our other best guess? Ming and Aoki won’t be joining the army and/or getting married until roughly 19 and 3/4 years old.

Oh, and our final bestest guess? Simmons helps produce a “She’s a Gold Digger” remix.

H/T: Mrs. J-Dizzle