Flava Flav Was Plowing as a Young Brah
Jul 7th, 2008 by The Piler
In an interview with complex.com VH1’s favorite son Flava Flav disclosed he lost dat V-card at the tender age of 6. That’s right, at the age most kids think the opposite sex has cooties Flav was plowing in the bushes. At least he didn’t have to worry about getting that lucky lady preggers. Flav currently has seven (known) children by three baby momas. The shocker there is that he doesn’t have more babies and baby momas.
Complex: Where did you lose your virginity?
Flavor Flav: Where did I lose my virginity? I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box.
Complex: Really?
Flavor Flav: Yea, in the bushes on a box. A girl and me were having sex on a box in the bushes, in some big tall bushes.
Complex: How uh…when was this?
Flavor Flav: This was when I was real, real, real, real, young.
Complex: Like elementary school? Or middle school?
Flavor Flav: Nah, I’m a tell you the truth; I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old.
Complex: Really?
Flavor Flav: Yea, man. Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.
Complex: I respect that. Early start my man.
Flavor Flav: That’s right early start and guess what and I have a great finish right now. [Laughs] Yessir!
The greatest hype man of all time also discloses the worst trick ever played on him. Someone put a booger on his hamburger and he unknowingly ate it. Don’t worry, Flav got his. He spread some dog-shat on a ritz cracker and convinced the dood it was a “peanut butter cookie sandwich.”
Wow, the ritz cracker thing is possibly the grossest/funniest thing I’ve ever heard.