Mini-Me(at) Recipient Speaks
Jul 10th, 2008 by Stamos
We haven’t seen the Verne Troyeur sex tape, and we don’t plan to. While celebrity sex tapes are usually pretty sweet, we feel midgets are probably better suited to wearing a sombrero with chips and dip in it or being shot out of a cannon than making pr0n. That said, you gotta hand it to Verne- this girl doesn’t look bad. She does, however, run her mouth to News Of The World about their sex life. Apparently Verne didn’t quite measure up. It would have been a tall order for him to please a full size woman either way, but it appears she feels she got the short end of the stick most of the time. And while it probably isn’t really a big deal at this point, she could have been a little nicer about it. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk… we kill us…
She begins- “… Sex was very different from anything I’d experienced before, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was tricky making everything work. I had to kneel down just to give him a hug. And anything but the traditional missionary position was just impossible. So I’d lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn’t quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn’t wear a condom. There was no point, they’re all too big. On the whole though, he wasn’t short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size.”
Aww, isn’t that cute. Little guy was trying his hardest to please her after he crawled up her leg and went to work?
“Obviously part of him wishes he could be as big as a regular man,” she said. “Verne absolutely hated looking in the mirror.”
Wonder which part?
“I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub,” she said. “Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him. Verne’s voice is just like it is in the films and as he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, ‘Ranae, I can’t see! Get me out, I’m drowning! I was frantic and started to scoop the bubbles out so I could find him. The bath was only about 3ft deep but for someone of Verne’s size it was like he’d fallen into the deep end of a swimming pool—and he CAN’T swim. I put my hand under and eventually felt his bald head and hauled him out. I couldn’t believe I’d tried to do something sexy and ended up almost killing him. He looked like a drowned rat. Then when I asked, ‘Shall we have sex now?’ he was so out of breath he just stomped off with foam on his shiny head and said, ‘I don’t feel like it now.’ It was dreadful.”
So this drowing rat squeaks out that he can’t see or breathe, and you were still thinking getting plowed? Our kind of girl- always in the mood.
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