These Go To Eleven: Hottest Olympians

by Brinson on August 15, 2008

It’s taken a little while, but I’m firmly ensconced on the Olympics bandwagon at this point — watching a bunch of swimming (which is so sneaky exciting) and seeing the Redeem Team plow through Beijing like LeBron through a lane full of Pistons is just GD patriotizing.

Oh and it might have been Misty May in her volleyball bikini tonight that put it over the top for creating a top 11 list of the hottest Olympians hanging out in China. Or maybe it was …. Twwwwwwins.

And, in all honesty, it was kind of tough to leave Michael Phelps off this list. He’s just so damn hot right now. But we like ladies, so we’re going with female Olympians. Your thoughts on our rankings after the jump. Commentary by The Piler.


11. Dara Torres — There might be hotter Olympians out there, but Torres gets extra points for having a body like that as a 41 year old mother. Not to mention Cougars are extremely brahsome. Did I mention she’s more than twice as old as some of the other ladies on this list?

tatiana golovin
10. Tatiana Golovin — If this were a sexy name contest, Tatiana would probably walk away with the title. Too bad she’s not even the hottest Russian born tennis player on our list.

amanda beard
9. Amanda Beard — One of the most photographed ladies on the list, Beard has bared all for Playboy. Fortunately, she does not live up to her surname…


8. Alicia Sacramone
Alicia is the only gymnast to make the list and we love how she works dat balance beam. She’s also one of the few gymnasts that wouldn’t send us to jail if she got nice on our balance beam.

7. Jennie Finch — Finch has been a mainstay on the American softball scene for years now. Where were chicks like this on my high school’s softball team? They could kick brinson’s ass and grew better beards than any of the brahs.

6. Alona Bondarenko — Another tennis player on the list, this Ukranian beauty won the 2008 Australian Open women’s doubles tournament with sister Kateryna, who isn’t too shab herself.

5. Heather Mitts — Soccer chicks are usually hot and Heather Mitts is no exception. My parents never really caught on as to why I went to so many of my sister’s soccer games in high school. They thought I was just being a good brother.


4. Bia and Branca — So what if they didn’t make the Brazilian Olympic roster? They play an Olympic sport on a team that’s in the Olympics and they’re effing twins.


3. Leryn Franco — C. Brahkawski clued you in to javelin thrower Leryn Franco earlier in the week. What’s not to love about a hot chick that likes to play with long, hard objects?

2. Ana Ivanovic — Who cares if she withdrew? We don’t. Smoke. Stack.


1. Maria Sharapova — She’s hot and she wins. Not that we ever really dogged Kournikova for it, but whatevs.

H/T to Cush for the research help.

More hotness on Bia and Branca

Leryn Franco is fuego

Topless Wii

The Phelps diet

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Extra P August 15, 2008 at 3:34 pm

I think Natalie Coughlin is hot. I seem to be the only one. Maybe she’s too “girl next door”.

Ron Mexico August 15, 2008 at 3:35 pm

The Chica you have pictured as #10 on the Hot Olympians isn’t Tatiana Golovin. I’m not sure who that girl actually is, but she’s a helluva lot hotter than Golovin. Golovin has a nice body, but has a “Butter face”….everything looks good but-her face.

Mel August 15, 2008 at 4:32 pm

Sacramone over Liukin? Are you kidding me? Liukin is of legal age as well, and she’s not as stocky and man-ish. Also, her name is Nastia!!!

Tailgating Dave August 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Sticking with the butter face theme, Amanda Beard has a hot bod but her teeth look as if John Elway and a mule had a love child. Seriously, that girl could eat an apple through a chain link fence.

The Piler August 15, 2008 at 5:03 pm

And I’m sure you’d kick her out of bed.

Rhymeister August 15, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Amanda Beard = very overrated. Leryn Franco – easily #1. Girl who is cute, wholesome and very underrated in terms of looks, Allyson Felix.

mel August 15, 2008 at 9:39 pm

The picture you have for Heather Mitts, is not her. That girl is a soccer players exwife.

Ryan August 16, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Sharapova? Seriously? In the sports world she has to be the most overrated in terms of looks.

chewy August 17, 2008 at 8:39 am

what? no logan tom. shame shame

ScruffyMcBeardo August 17, 2008 at 10:14 am

I’ll have to give the gold on this one to Alicia Sacramone. She’s the only gymnast I’ve seen who’s body is more womanly and not childish.

ThisPostSucks August 17, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Um… You have Torrie Wilson (WWE) as the picture for Golovin, and an incorrect picture of Heather Mitts.

People left of the list are Becky Hammon, Stephanie Rice, and instead of Sacramone I would have picked Shawn Johnson (She’s so tiny and cute, it’s rightfully illegal).

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