Getting a DUI blows. Stamos speaks from experience, dude, if you know what I mean. Except that he actually does. And several things happened while at the station following the times Stamos got taken downtown from riding dirty. Yes, that’s timeS, plural. First time, old Mos was just a young lad of 19, so it was mostly laughing at the officer and asking him if he knew who Stamos father was (Stamos’ father, mind you, has no pull whatsoever, except at museums… where he has MAD pull). The second time, Mos was so certain he was sober that he was attempting to take bets from other officers at the station regarding what he’d blow. Stamos set the over under at .07, and while there were officially no takers, smart money was, apparently, on the over. Anywho, there is this guy Jose Cruz. And Jose Cruz decided to do something smart after he got taken downtown for DUI.
He ripped ass right on the arresting officer. And, like most dusters at late night, this was particulary rank. So heinous was the smell, in fact, that the officer tacked on a charge of battery to an officer to the original DUI. That’s right- Jose Ruiz’ anus was a weapon this night.
Later, the additional charges were dropped. And, almost certainly, Ruiz’ family rejoiced over a plate of beans and rice and then gassed off all night in celebration up in lovely West Virginia.
