We would all be lying if we said we didn’t like our lady friends to be a little crazy. Some more than others. And ex’s are usually almost always considered a touch insane. Which is what makes this Craig’sList post (they just keep getting better!) all the more wonderful.
See, a young lady has taken out an ad as to why she will be the “Best Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Ever”. She lives in Washington, D.C., gents, so if you’re interested, get to stalking contacting. I would recommend reading the whole thing, but this is my favorite snippet.
In the sobering light of morning, you’ll forget that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and instead opt for a “two-night stand” but you’ll quickly realize that I am having none of that and somehow weasle my way into staying over, cooking breakfast and reading your newspaper. I will also have conveniently brought my toothbrush and some sanitary products which I quickly store in your bathroom cabinets since ‘I’m going to be spending a lot of time at your place.’ Your Maxim magazines will go from the top of the toilet to the bottom of the wastebasket because I find them ‘offensive’ and ‘immature.’
Later that day, you’ll log onto Facebook and find out that I’m ‘in a relationship’…with you. Yay!
But then, I’m a sucker for “Yay!”’s. Of course, I would also never drive a He-und-ai Element, so this isn’t technically accurate.
Also, I think it’s spectacular to think of a bunch of friends plotting to get these two fictional and anonymous people together simply for entertainment’s sake — it’s like a layman’s version of convincing Lindsay Lohan and Robert Downey, Jr., to have sex. If they haven’t already.
