There are some things in life that just go together. Peanut butter and jelly, corn and cigarettes, prostitutes and Charlie Sheen. You know what else goes together? Binge drinking at a boobie bar, grand theft auto (the crime, not the game), and driving through Alaska in the winter. Just ask Charles Schultz- he knows the drill.
Fairbanks police received a report shortly after midnight Friday that a Ford Escort had been stolen from the parking lot of Reflections. Two hours later, an officer transporting another person to Fairbanks Correctional Center spotted the Escort pulling into Tesco Lighting, and the trooper confronted Schultz behind the wheel. When told that the vehicle was reported stolen, a surprised Schultz asked police what he had done, and said he thought he was driving his own Chevy Cavalier. He swore he had no memory of taking a vehicle that didn’t belong to him, according to a criminal complaint filed in court.
Yeah, it was strange when he had to adjust the seat and mirrors, and there were someone else’s clothes in the shotgun seat. Also, he had to hotwire it after his key didn’t fit in the ignition, which was new. But, how can you blame the guy- who among you hasn’t stolen a car after getting blackfaced upstairs at the club while receiving a lubeless HJ from a 24 year old mother of 3 just looking to make enough money to go back to school? Right.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Does spit count as lube?
What about sweat?