Crohn’s disease. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Or perhaps not. Either way, it afflicts Pearl Jam lead guitarist and general badass Mike McCready.
The symptoms? Well, let’s just let McCready explain himself, shall we?
“Imagine the worst diarrhea you’ve ever had, and then times it by 10, with a knife in it,” McCready said after testifying before a legislative committee. “You have maybe a half-a-second to find out where a bathroom is.”
And considering I may have been suffering (albeit temporarily) from this today, I totally understand why McCready is willing to go out on a limb and tell Congress that he has explosive diarrhea — it’s for the greater good, really.
The proposal would require retailers without public restrooms to allow people with inflammatory bowel diseases to use employee restrooms, provided an identification card or a letter from a doctor or nurse is shown.
Of course, the downside is that you have to carry a card that basically says “Pants-Shitter”, which isn’t fun for anyone. But then again, neither is having to play the “Even Flow” solo with four pounds of the brown hanging in your drawers.
“I was in the middle of a solo and it hit, and I can’t go anywhere because I’m playing in front of 20,000 people,” McCready told The Associated Press after he testified. “So I just let go. I went back stage and cleaned up, because the show must go on.”
Of course, on the bright side, we can all rest easy that we no longer have to search for 2009’s quote of the year. Additionally, the new phrase “If shitting your pants is cool, consider me Mike McCready” is only an Awesom-o 3000 studio meeting away from happening.
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My mother suffered from Crohn’s her whole life and it ultimately led to her death. It really is as bad as McCready says.
But I’m glad that he’s taking action to get the word out about it. It’s still — after over 30 or so years since my mom was diagnosed — a relatively unknown and mysterious disease. The more folks know about it, perhaps the more work and research can be done to help cure it.