I love bacon. I love chocolate. I also love applewood smoked bacon. And alderwood smoked salt, even though I don’t know what the hell it is. And milk chocolate.
So, naturally, you pour all those into one delicious candy bar and I’m going to get decently excited.
Breathe…engage your five senses, close your eyes and inhale deeply. Be in the present moment, notice the color of the chocolate, the glossy shine. Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate. Snap off just a tiny piece and place it in your mouth, let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue.
Okay, that — from Vosges Chocolate, the makers of Mo’s Bacon Bar — seems a touch over the top for what I’m looking for.
“BACON. CHOCOLATE. ON YOUR M*THERF*CKING TASTEBUDS AT ONE TIME, SON.” would have sufficed nicely. But whatever, you add bacon and chocolate and you’ve won me over regardless of what you say.