Woman Suffers Unfortunate Normality of Being Addicted to Masturbation

Guh. Really? Now we’re using valuable television news time that could be filled up with Bubble Boy stories to talk about some random lady’s “addiction to masturbation”? Really? Because as sad as her story is, it just doesn’t even seem viable to consider masturbation the kind of addiction that can cripple you to the point that you can’t get out of bed. Being hungover? Sure. Being lazy? Def. Sundays? Obvs. But this lady couldn’t get out of bed because she masturbated too much and we’re supposed to feel bad for her because she landed a spot on television? Come on, CNN. Stop wasting all this bandwidth; it would be much more efficiently put towards hosting some porn.