We’ve never heard of Matt Vasgerian either, though his last name sounds like an alternative title for a doctor that deals in lady parts, doesn’t it?  Anyways, he let an f-bomb fly on MLB TV yesterday.

Thanks to NESWSports for the heads up.

Anyone in our generation (that being the generation of guys between 21 and 35) remembers the name Oil Can Boyd. Not necessarily because he was a fantastic pitcher (he was a .500 pitcher in his 10 big league seasons) but because he had a great nickname (derived, by the way, from the fact that beer is called ‘oil’ in his native Mississippi- old Dennis enjoys tossing back a few bricks apparently). Well, Dennis left the game in 1991, and we haven’t seen him since (save for that little incident where surrendered to the FBI after being indicted on charges of threatening a former girlfriend and her kid- no biggie).  Now, however, he’s trying to get back in the game at the tender age of 49 (as you can see in the picture above, he doesn’t look a day over 75).

Says Boyd, “I have nothing to lose, and all a major league team has to lose is 15 minutes. Give me 15 minutes and I’ll show I can still pitch. That’s all I want.”

Makes sense he’d comeback now, really, as we all know 49 year olds are basically in their prime.  And since no-one is taking roids anymore, his eephus pitch might sneak past a few lads.  There have only been 3 pitchers older than Boyd is today to ever start a MLB game, one being Boyd’s idol, Satchel Paige, who played until he was 59.  So, maybe Boyd has 10 years left in the gas tank after all (see what we did there- gas tank, oil can.  Yeah…)

Your boy Roberto Alomar is dealing with some serious shit these days, fans. His ex-girlfriend Ilya Dall has brought a $15 million law suit against him and some of the details are, well, they’re kind of a bummer.

According to her suit, Alomar has “full blown AIDS” and convinced her numerous times over the past few years to have unprotected sexual intercourse. Notice that no one said “forced,” only “convinced.” I’m not sure what her argument is here, since she could have pulled up her sexy, laced panties and taken her fine ass home.

Other details include that Alomar was raped by two mexican men when he was 17, that he had a yeast infection, and was told by numerous doctors over the years to have an HIV test, all of which he refused.

Daly News

Multiple media outlets are reporting (it originated with deadspin.com) that Mark’s brother Jay has recently started shopping a book to publishers, in which he claims that Mark did, indeed, use HGH and steroids.

Of course, he wrote the book not for financial gain, but because he loves his brother.

Mark is a man I think most would like to forgive because his reason wasn’t nefarious — it was for survival,” Jay McGwire wrote. “My bringing the truth to surface about Mark is out of love. I want Mark to live in truth to see the light, to come to repentance so he can live in freedom — which is the only way to live.”

Out of love. Totally. That’s a hell of a guy right there. Way to step up and take one for the team … and by ‘take one for the team’ I obviously mean ‘throw your brother under the bus.’ Asshole.

I’m not trying to defend McGwire. He seems like kind of a jerk and he sure looked like an ass as he sat before congress sweating and nervously answering questions, but who needs their little brother coming out with a tell-all book?

“Who knows what might have happened if I didn’t get Mark involved with all the training, supplements, the right foods, steroids, and HGH,” he wrote. “He would not have broken any records and the Congressional Hearings would have gone on without him. Maybe Barry Bonds wouldn’t have ever gotten involved with the stuff, either.

In case you’re confused, Jay McGwire is claiming responsibility for both Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds having tiny testicles and re-writing the record books. I’m pretty sure I hate this guy.

MSNBC

Stamos, while watching the series over the weekend, noticed that Luke Wilson must have quit his day job to man right field for the Tampa Rays.  Wait, that’s not the star of Old School, you say?  That’s Rocco Baldelli?  Are you sure?

These two look far more alike than Luke and Owen do, right?  Anywho, this promted us to recall other good lookalikes that we have seen during the series.  Jump down for a picture filled list.

 How about your boy Cliff Floyd, and his uncanny resenblance to hip hop star Nas?

And on the Phillies, Cole Hamels looks eerily familiar to fans of the US version of the Office, no?

 Doesn’t it seem like Ryan Howard has been around forever already? Maybe that’s because he has, though not on the ballfield. He starred years ago in Diff’rent Strokes, albeit under the alias Gary Coleman.

And then there’s Pat Burrell.  Maybe his days of clubbing 40 four-baggers ended when it was revealed that he was, in fact, Ray Liotta.

Anyone we forgot?

There’s probably a joke about posing as a Dodger involving Jeff Kent out there somewhere, but it’s Monday, and we’re lazy.  So, we’ll just say that Ronald Higgins was arrested Saturday for posing as an LA Dodger.  Higgins was seen walking onto the field wearing a full on uni with a glove and everything.  Apparently, he identified himself as a Dodger player, but the security guard recognized him from an earlier incident.  What earlier incident would this be?  And a better question is can this guy pose as a decent long relief or set-up guy?  If so, sign him up, Omar, because Schoenweis and Ayala are posing as Brewer fans. (Yes, you can expect the Mets bashing to continue throughout the week, or at least until the Wilpons grab sack and can Minaya).

Hey, guys! Someday the Cubs will go all the way! No, seriously. Someday. In the meantime, we can at least hear Eddie Vedder — you may have heard of him — throw out a tribute to the Bluesers.

Gracias, Mouthpiece.

The Triple Lindy of beer cup stacking occurs at the 7:30ish mark and yes, it is worth watching the entire video.

You know how some people have cool looking middle fingers when they flick you off and then others have squat little fingers that look really funny when they’re pissed? I think Giambi has one of the latter. Seems odd though, that a hulking baseball player would have a little unit set of digits. Maybe it’s permanent shrinkage.

Oh, and this was because the Orioles put a shift on Giambi and he was giving Brian Roberts the bird for getting him out from deep right field in an earlier at bat. In case you care.

Hat tip: Everyone.

Remember when Madonna was hot?  Honestly, she was the queen of the 80s, and then she was still feugo at 40 in that Ray of Light video.  Amazing.  Speaking of videos, she’s got a new one coming out.  It involves her and A’s rod.

In a series of emails fired off to media outlets, [some guy] alleged the footage was shot two months ago in an apartment owned by a pal of Madonna she knows through her devotion to the Kabbalah religion.

 

The video man – who is also a friend of the apartment owner – claimed he found out and secretly installed a hidden camera in the living room with the lens pointed at the sofa.

Remember when we said we didn’t plan to see Verne Troyeur’s sex tape, mainly because it is likely disgusting?  Well, add this to the list we’re not really interested in.  Madonna’s muffin has gotta be like a glass of water at this point, no?

H/T: WWTDD.com